Main

News Archives

February 8, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith is dead.

Found unresponsive in her hotel room.

February 9, 2007

Quiz.

A hidden gem with a little hint of Roger Black.

February 13, 2007

North Korea agrees to stop nuke program.

I credit Alec Baldwin.

February 19, 2007

Should I be mortified that I have two JetBlue flights in March?

Note to self: bring PSP and extra batteries.

February 22, 2007

Virgin gets NASA to develope commercial spacecraft.

I didn't know NASA did contract work, sweet! How much to build the Deathstar?

Prince goes to war (no, the other one).

I bet newspaper sales are going through the roof in England.

February 23, 2007

Yeah. we're going to need a lot more marinara sauce.

And a chainsaw, not sure a table knife is gonna do it.

February 26, 2007

Ebony and ivory test together in perfect harmony.

If the results are positive I want to see a live reunion TV show.

March 1, 2007

The Washington Post as profiled by Apple.

In ten years there will be one-thousand Washington Posts.

March 2, 2007

How to jump a bus.

Maybe it helps if you think the Terminator is after you?

Swiss accidentally invade Liechtenstein.

Wait, countries can be accidentally invaded? Oops, sorry about Iraq folks, ourbad, we'll just go now. Bye-bye.

March 3, 2007

Ann Coulter should drive a bus on the Atlanta HOV.

She is a talentless hack who's position is fueled by mindless zombies.

March 5, 2007

President Bush on the hunt for Osama.

Safety glasses help when you're smokin' out terrorist.

March 7, 2007

Ernest Gallo, dead at 97.

To be burried in one giant box with a tap.

XYZ, PDQ!

I thought that's what cucumbers were for? I'm confused.

March 9, 2007

War has increased terrorism sevenfold worldwide.

Bring it on! Yahoo!

March 13, 2007

Shrub doing his best Catholic Priest impersonation.

Billy, do you like Gladiator movies?

March 20, 2007

Screw Airbus, make mine Boeing.

Only a 10th of the real size! Boosh!

March 27, 2007

John McCain reverses his decision on gay marriage.

Also now a big, big fan of Xena Warrior Princess.

April 4, 2007

Keith Richards snorted his fathers ashes.

Psycho asshat.

April 5, 2007

Same factory, different brands.

All your products belong to us.

AT&T/Cingular blocks cellular customers from free conference call services.

Hello Congress?

April 8, 2007

Last Monday's earthquake permanently lifted an island nine feet.

Coral reefs are now above sea level along with a sunken Japanese patrol boat from WWII.

April 12, 2007

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

And who is he calling nappy-headed hos? Has he looked in the mirror lately? Asshat.

April 14, 2007

Whoa.

I know they come bigger than that, but still.

Chicago beats LA in bid for 2016 games.

Sweet! Lets all eat Portillos!

April 15, 2007

Don Ho has died.

I blame the Curse of the Brady Bunch Special.

April 16, 2007

At least 20 people dead in shooting on Virginia Tech University.

So, so sad.

April 17, 2007

Wikipedia entry for Virginia Tech massacre.

Astonishingly complete.

April 23, 2007

Two people shot dead at Montage.

What's next? Disneyland?

Boris is dead. Long live Boris.

Goodbye comrade.

April 24, 2007

Ratings vs. reputation.

On the Media examines NBC's coverage of the Virginia Tech tragedy.

Toyota kicks G.M. to the curb.

Goodbye Big Three, you suck.

April 25, 2007

Super Earth!

If I had time I would set up a website to start selling real estate.

April 26, 2007

Play that funky music white boy.

Bush should go back to being a party animal, his ratings who jump at least 10 points.

April 27, 2007

Why diet sodas taste like crap.

Hmm, normal soda tastes like concentrated sugar with sugar additive to me.

May 1, 2007

Rupert Murdoch wants to own the Dow Jones Co.

Yucky.

May 4, 2007

Microsoft wants to buy Yahoo.

"...could be worth $50 billion."

May 5, 2007

Paris Hilton sentenced to 45 days in jail.

Yes!

May 6, 2007

OMGREADNEWS.

KTHXBYE.

May 7, 2007

"Why do people project their sensitivities and vulnerabilities onto their God? I'm sure He finds that a bit offensive."

Damn straight.

May 9, 2007

I told you it hit 100 yesterday!

Damn sauna.

A map of the fire in Griffith Park.

May 11, 2007

JetBlue CEO fired.

Damn, I hope this doesn't mean they're cutting unlimited munchies.

May 13, 2007

Missed it by that much.

A map of the Catalina fire. Crazy close.

May 14, 2007

Cruise ship?

You could prospect for gold on that barge.

May 15, 2007

Jerry Falwell is dead.

Moral majority found unconcious in his office.

May 18, 2007

Narcoteucture in Afganistan.

It would be interesting to compare these with the palaces/compounds in South America.

May 21, 2007

My friend, Jerry Falwell.

I wondered if Larry would write a eulogy.

May 26, 2007

Okkoto lives!

Er, he used to until an eleven-year old took him down in Eastern Alabama.

May 27, 2007

Burt Reynolds is rolling in his grave.

Oops, I mean he will, just after the preservatives wear-off.

May 30, 2007

A Croatian university has taught bees to sniff out landmines.

Still no hover car in sight.

Pointless.

My smartphone needs a date like the French need Arkansas.

May 31, 2007

Unraveling the cosmos in the depths of Antarctica.

For the Rocket Scientist.

Snoop Dogg, big hockey fan?

Poser!

Portman is Bantha poo-doo.

Bite the hand that feeds you, well played.

China to require bloggers to register with the government.

American's were required to register for CB radios in the 70's.

June 5, 2007

The Six Day War.

Complete with maps.

June 6, 2007

Libby sentenced to thirty months in prison for lying.

When do we get to throw his boss in prison?

Apparently pirates never said 'arrr'.

Dammit Slate, would it have destroyed civilization that we hadn't known the truth?

The Removal Men!

Sounds like a super villan group.

June 7, 2007

Pairs Hilton already out of jail.

What a load of crap.

June 8, 2007

Quantum scoop.

Does this mean we can turn CERN into an amusement park ride?

"Mom!"

Stupid Paris, Mothers Day was last month.