In compliance with, what I think is California State Law, Airbag Industries LLC initiated a random drug screening late last week. Since fifty-percent of the work force are not in California, not even in the same office, administering the test was not as easy as maybe it could have been and perhaps a little less scientific than the law requires.
The results are still pending (though I suspect that Ethan has an addiction to NyQuil as his IM status is always set to: "heading to sooth this cough with a little Romulan Ale" and I don't need a masters degree in management information systems to read between those lines) as I am still waiting for at least one specimen to arrive via FedEx Ground. I hope they haven't lost it, do you know how hard it is to go through a jar of mayonnaise, sterilize it, and pack it in the absolute center in a box of those styrofoam peanuts?
When everything gets here I'll run through some tests I found on Wikipedia. I might not be a scientist but I've watched enough Miami Vice to know how to check if white powder is cocaine so I figure this other kind of drug test can't be that much more difficult.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
I would try the updated CSI testing procedures. Sure, you get the same results, but you get more bang for your buck with a cooler light show, sterile gloves and lab coats.
Ryan is totally on 'roids. He's gone all beefcake on us!
I guess I'm not quite following--are you checking to find out if drugs are present, or checking to make sure drugs are present?
"Bettering Design" or "Better Designer Drugs"?
The more like apple juice it tastes, the more certain you are of drug use.
> I guess I'm not quite following--are you checking to find out if drugs are present, or checking to make sure drugs are present?
Good question. As it's a random drug tests I guess we won't know until the results are known.
Ah, oh, boy.
Just don't rub the specimen around your gums to determine a positive or not, mmmmkay?
In the Army, we referred to urinalysis as a "Whiz Quiz." You could also say that you had to "pause for the cause."
NIce. Did you also dab in drab?
I'm from Miami. Need to get "around" a drug test? Talk to me... oh wait, you're administering? Mmm, forget I said anything. *snort*
What you need to do is wait for all the samples to arrive, and take them all to the beach. Have your willing yet poorly paid assistant wade into the water and get stung by a jellyfish. Pour a sample of Pee Jar #1 on assistant. Repeat stinging/pouring.
Everyone knows that drug tainted pee will NOT quell the fierce sting of a jellyfish.
> Everyone knows that drug tainted pee will NOT quell the fierce sting of a jellyfish.
I didn't know that. Ryan, bring your swimsuit, we have testing to do.