SecState: Waaasssaaappp!!!
SecState: Condi's in here moving furniture around and trying to find a good spot for her war-fractured bust of Sadam.
Airbag: Are you serious?
SecState: Totally, some Marine brought it to her hoping to get a promotion.
Airbag: No I mean about Iran!
SecState: :)
Airbag: I knew it! LOL.
Airbag: Adapting missiles for nukes. Oh man you had me on edge. You suck!
SecState: LOL.
Airbag: I'm gonna have to get you back on this one.
SecState: :P
Airbag: Remember last time...
Airbag: You're all: portable chemical weapons labs, aluminum tubes!
Airbag: And I'm all: wolf, wolf!
SecState: LOLMAO!!!
Airbag: LOL!
SecState: Dude, I'm so bored.
SecState: Condi thinks I should go to Africa on the government's tab but screw Africa, dude, like I need another giraffe pelt.
Airbag: Yeah it's like almost one is too many. And they kinda smell.
SecState: So I thought, I'll pull another fast one before I blow the doors to this place. I had Dan Rather in here and I told him I have an intelligence report from Tibet that proves Iran also stole all of Sadam's WMD while he was eating Marrs Bars in that gofer hole.
Airbag: Brilliant!
SecState: Yeah his eyes started watering, leg was all shaking and he kept mumbling: courage, courage like he was Forrest Gump or something.
SecState: That cracka aint' right. I don't think he should be hitting the tanning bed anymore it's wacked his brain.
Airbag: Is he really alive? He looks like he's drinking embalming fluid for cocktails.
SecState: Dude, they have to give him the paddles before going on television.
SecState: The countdown guy goes to 3 and then they hit him with some Joules to get a pulse.
Airbag: Like Strange Brew! Hey hoser you gonna read the news or what?
Airbag: And here I thought he was being animated by Pixar, amazing.
SecState: Gotta go, Paul Wolfowitz is in the building, time to put some hurt on! Gonna grab me some heavy pipe hitting Marines...
Airbag: Give him a purple titty-twister Diablo style!
SecState: LOL, later G-Money.
SecState: k, later DJ WMD.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
Hm :/
ha... I just read about this and was weeping for humanity. thanks for lightening the mood a little bit.
Strange Brew reference: priceless.
Marine references: crappy.
It's bad enough that most of them are there even though they don't want to be. Trust me. I'm a Marine.
Thankfully, I haven't had to deploy yet because I'm the "webmaster" for Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base. At least for the next few days until I transfer to a different base. The website is mostly standards compliant by the way.
I was a little insulted by the comments you made about Marines. Most of them don't even want to be there, but they're under orders. They have to do what they're told. We don't like it any more than you do.
Jeremy, if you or the other Marines don't like the way things are going, can't you guys quit or something?
Funny I was just talking to a Canadian buddy earlier today. He told me some Americans say that the unemployment rate in Canada is higher than in the US. My buddy said, "That's because in Canada, we don't recruit the unemployed and train them to kill other people."
I really don't see how cowardice and irrelevance are virtues. When Canada wants to grow up and sit at the big kids table with all the other countries maybe then we'll listen to their criticisms.
> I really don't see how cowardice and irrelevance are virtues
Anyone else find beauty in one individual accusing an entire country of being a coward when this one individual cannot fill out their own true name/email address?? Ahh to be an ignorant American, pure bliss.
Great post Greg, keep the interviews coming.
Yeah, when Mr. SecState was in front of the U.N. talking smack about mobile chamical manufacturing labs, I was like, "no! Thats crap! No poor-ass country under global sanctions can have technology like that! He's lying and he's doing it for Bush!" And then when I watched http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/iraq/ (The war behind closed doors), I was like, "exactly!" And now Iran...
Juan - ouch! That's a little harsh.
Umm, Joel, apparently you haven't heard but a lot of Americans like Canada. And now that this election has passed even more Americans like Canada.
Please, from one American to another (I suppose) don't tout our military might as an object of awe — war is not pretty and unjustified war is even worse.
You guys should check out Sorry Everybody, you may or may not like it. If you don't there's We're Not Sorry. Wait, we're not sorry has left the building. It's nice to see how a good amount of people from around the world actually think.
Jeremy:
If I don't like the orders given to me, if they're immoral or otherwise, wrong, then I don't stay at a job. Following excuses is no different for the Marines, just as it was no excuse for Lynndie England and the like.
Don't worry Juan, when someone has a bullet with your name on it, we'll make sure the Marine isn't standing in your way.
I just saw this link on boingboing and thought it appropriate:
ASCII War
Juan & Chris - We can't just quit, we're under contract. I signed for 4 years active service and 4 years inactive reserve service.
If we breach that contract there are very stiff penalties. Including long jail times and massive financial penalties. There are some Marines, sailors, soldiers and airmen who do "just quit", but speaking for a majority of the service members, we all knew what could happen when we signed up, and should have been prepared to do something we didn't originally intend.
AUTHOR: Jeremy
EMAIL: jeremy.gadgit@gmail.com
IP: 138.162.140.38
URL: http://www.pendleton.usmc.mil
DATE: 11/18/2004 01:22:07 PM
Jeremy, so let me get this straight. You and your comrades volunteered to join the military, signed a four year contract even, but because these soliders (volunteers mind you) now find themselves in Iraq against their wishes, its not ok to refer to them in a humor bit about Colin Powell? Can you explain that to me?
And what does web standards have to do with any of this? Where did that come from?
> Because you won't be able to find a decent job again.
I don't really have a point of reference here, but when you get out of the military (be it from serving your term or discharge) you do not get a job based on your military service (depending on the job, mind you). When I started my most recent job, I was hired because of my technical knowledge (which was a result of college).
If I, for example, was in the military and for whatever reason was dishonorably discharged, assuming that I still had the skills and knowledge about web development, I would still have gotten my current job (IMO).
I don't see how a dishonorable discharge would in itself cause me to lose all potential job prospects. That's rationalizing your actions based on speculation and more importantly, believing the threats the military issues to it's troops. Trust in yourself, not what the military tells you to believe, otherwise it's totalitarianism.
Greg, I'm not saying that it isn't ok to refer to Marines in a humerous bit. I just don't appreciate the way you used them in your post.
Or maybe I just misunderstood you when you were talking about "heavy pipe hitting Marines". Marines doing drugs is a very rare incident, and if ever caught useing, or even if one were to turn themselves in, there's no second chance. You're kicked out.
Web standards have absolutely nothing to do with anything even remotely related to this. That came from me tooting my own horn on the fact that I've never been to college, and have only been working as a "webmaster" for about 7 months.
Heavy pipe hitting Marines != Drug users
You know like, "a couple of pipe hittin' mo fo's". See Pulp Fiction for reference.
Justin, having a dishonorable discharge is almost like having a felony on your record. I know at least two people from before I was enlisted who were dishonorably discharged. I met one at my first job at KFC and another While working at Hooters.
Joel: "I really don't see how cowardice and irrelevance are virtues. When Canada wants to grow up and sit at the big kids table with all the other countries maybe then we'll listen to their criticisms."
First off, thanks for the rather mature (heh) way of formulating your distaste towards my country. Big kids table? What do you mean? If you mean automatically agreeing with an American administration who believes the best way to operate is a "our way or the highway" response to diplomatic relations, I doubt 9/10 countries in the world would agree. Canada can be different, you ought to respect our difference of opinion, or is tolerance and understanding not the "American" way? Joel, there is only one word to describe your comments, and that is pure ignorance. By your comments, it becomes apparent that you have a total lack of knowledge of how the diplomatic relations work, it seems your Fox News filler has corrupted your brain. Perhaps you could try thinking about the differences between countries before slandering a country whose inhabitants consider themselves your best friend. Or at least, we want to be.
Just because we didn't go to a unilateral war action with the American administration, does not determine our international status. I love my country, as I'm sure you love yours, and I'm proud to be a Canadian. We believe in multilateral action is the best way to resolve issues, if such action is to be agreed upon and if the UN had believed that "proof" of WMD in Iraq, we would of gone. But guess what, the UN (and Canada) turned out to be right, there was no WMD in Iraq. Iraq was not a direct threat. And boy, are we glad we didn't go. We didn't throw our soldiers into a war with false pretenses. How can you defend that action at all? I just don't understand your logic.
I know that Joel is not an example of every American, I love Americans, my girlfriend of three years is American. I just believe in tolerance and understanding, and your comment displayed none of these attributes.
Joel. Get your head on straight before you think of responding. I apologize for such a long entry, but I really did find that insulting and felt the need to respond.
Where do you guys get drug use from that line? I think you need to go back and watch the movie again.
"Web standards have absolutely nothing to do with anything even remotely related to this. That came from me tooting my own horn on the fact that I've never been to college, and have only been working as a "webmaster" for about 7 months."
I went to college before the web really existed and I've been doing this for almost ten years now, again what's your point?
Greg, I think I've made my point pretty clear.
Obviously, I and some other people misunderstood the heavy pipe hitting line. For that, I apologize. I'm not trying to bust your chops for what you said, and I'm not even that upset about it. I understand that some people have the wrong view of our military and calling them pipe hitters and making it look like we give gifts for promotions isn't helping that view.
Again, my point about throwing in the web standards is: I, unlike you, don't have any experience with webmastering. Like I said I was tooting my horn. Even thinking that someone may look at it, and tell me anything that I did wrong.
I get the feeling that you're taking my comments in the wrong manner. I'm not trying to critisize you in any way. I was just letting you know that as a Marine, I don't appreciate the way you used Marines in your post.
Now that this thread has totally degraded to back and forth banter, drum roll please...
The term "pipe hitting >" is to describe some tough dude(s) who beat people up. Am I wrong? Isn't that how you intended it Greg? Isn't that how it was used in the movie Pulp Fiction? Isn't that how it is always used?
Last time I checked, Marines are not known for their heavy drug use... aka hittin' the pipe.
I think that's cool the Camp Pendelton webmaster runs a standards compliant site. Sure it has nothing to do with this conversation, but I think Jeremy was just trying to show his relationship to the group (web developer group). Sounds like a little too much bickering is going on here.
Justin, Thank you. That's what I was trying to hint at. I apologize for the bantering that has been going on. That was not my intent at all.
Greg, I've been reading your site for quite a while and didn't mean to upset you. I apologize profusely and want you to know that I respect your opinion and have always respected you as a person based on what I've read on Airbag. I didn't mean to cause such commotion on your site, and hope that you don't take my comments in the wrong manner.
You are definitely whacked. I love it 8 )
First of all that was hilarious, and his conversation has gotten way too serious when I think the point was to lighten the mood.
Ok, now... The pipe hitting line is a reference from Pulp Fiction after Ving Rhames has been "abused" by the shop owners. I think Marine was an appropriate stand in for the "colorful" term used in the film.
That's all.
JM
Jeremy, no need to apologize for causing a stir to clear the air.
I seriously think that the earth needs to be invaded by an alien race so that we can all start to think of ourselves as a united planet instead of just seperate countries at war with each other.
Of course if that happens, we'll just be in another war... but this time with some alien race... DOH! It's never going to end...
Matt, sorry but there are no Marines where I come from. We're peace-loving folks, you see.
Just to clarify myself, I don't hate the Marines. Just like you, I loved "A Few Good Men," too.
I understand that they're just following orders and doing their job. But the thing is, if you (Marines who don't agree with Genius George's moves) can't stand the heat, get out. And if you can't get a job because you quit the military, get out of the country and live somewhere else where people don't discrimate against those who refuse to be coerced into doing something they don't believe in.
Jeremy, thank you for sharing that information. I didn't know you'd be dishonorably discharged if you try to get out before your contract is over.
Juan, please. Peace loving and apathetic are two different things. Of course you have no Marines. What has Canada ever fought for?
"What has Canada ever fought for?"
You.... have to ask?
Mmmmmm...Hooters.
Yes, Ray. I'm asking.
Allow me to interject Midgette. It's hard to explain what we've fought for. Let's see, there was that one time in WWI...oh and that time in WWII. Arguably two of the only justifiable wars of the past century. And guess what, we were there before Americans. Recently, America has rushed to war, alone for the most part (don't forget Poland ;) ) And I am sure that history will show that these wars were fought under false pretenses.
Midgette, a country's ability to rush to war does not and should not define it. I think history will look more favourably upon those who remained cool headed in difficult times; Bush, and his reign will be frowned upon as a dark period in a country that otherwise is a shining example of what others should aspire to be. It is very sad indeed that so many Americans support this presidency, and the notion of pre-emtive war.
I suggest Midgette that you take a long look a Canada and Canadians, because we seem to be doing something right.
Matt, either your tree has the wrong bark or you're barking at the wrong tree. I'm not sure where you got the idea, but I'm not from Canada. And Canadians aren't the only peace-loving folks on this planet.
Call me apathetic, call me anything... you can even call me 'Juan'. But don't you think it's time to stop calling people names and focus on more pressing issues. We already have a lot going, even without this war. You think we really need it?
Grow up, Midgette (pardon the pun). See the world. There's so much more to life than dreaming up non-existent WMDs and waging wars against less developed countries, or supporting jingoism in the government.
It's too late for you to join Band Aid 20. But the next time they organize something similar, I'll sign you up. Love is all you need. :)
Don't discount our neighbors to the north. They have fought and died right next to us on many of occasions. If you have to ask Matt then you need to do a little research.
Just because I ask doesn't mean I don't know. Don't assume - Isn't that what everybody says on this website. Someone makes a comment, another replies, and the then someone accuses that person of making assumptions. INTERNET IS ALL ABOUT ASSUMING - WE DON'T REALLY KNOW EACH OTHER! What else is there? In reference to Canada: I'm not talking about fighting for somebody, I'm talking about for themselves. And please don't reply with another generalization - give me specifics. And Juan, I never said you were Canadian and the way you say "other peace-loving folks" sounds like you're referring to the Smurfs. And why are we not allowed to wage war against less developed countries? Huh? Greg? And I never discounted the north, Greg. I just want to know what's so great about it that it makes it worth moving to? It seems to me that these brilliant Democrats would be of better use in Mexico. But that would be work, wouldn't it? (and I say that also if Kerry had run and Republicans wanted to move to Canada - before you assume).
Hmmm... Matt, if you knew, then why ask? Isn't the point of asking to know?
Take your daily dose of diazepam now. With all those caps and that exclamation mark, I can feel your anger growing on my hair.
Midgette. You want specifics??? Well, there was the war of 1812 when we burned down the White House. That was pretty funny...Oh and I guess you could count not going to a made up war as sticking up for yourself. We didn't get bullied into it. Does that count? You see we realise that you can't necessarily wage a war on a concept (i.e Terrorism) so we decided that we wouldn't, a hell of a lot of other countries felt the same way.
Don't try and back peddle now Matt.
French-Indian Wars, American Revolution, War of 1812, Rebellion of 1837, Civil War, Fenian Raids, Red River Rebellion, Nile Expedition, North West Rebellion, South African (Boer) War, WWI, Siberian Expeditionary Force, Spanish Civil War, WWII, Korean War, Gulf War and numerable Peacekeeping Missions. This might enlighten you (http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/cdnmilitary/peacekeeping.html).
Most of this information is easily obtained by doing a quick search on Google.com. Google is a search engine that helps people find and gather information on just about any topic imaginable. Allot of people will use the Google search engine before saying something that would otherwise make them look like a complete idiot. It's an incredible research tool. Really 8 )
Here's an example of how Google can easily help ferret out information. A couple days ago a somewhat popular, big feeling, fat head posted something on their site... something they clearly knows nothing about but felt compelled to post anyway. After presenting them with a link, in their comments, to the exact same content found (in 30 seconds on Google) on a five year old web page that wasn't theirs... well, they took issue with this probably because they would have preferred their readers believe they was the author of said content. Someone’s nose was clearly out of joint. Boo-hoo.
Anyway... the point is... it's very easy to find information on just about anything, quickly with the aid of Google or any other popular search engine. The moral of the story can be summed up in the immortal words of Ricky Roma (Glengary Glen Ross) "You never open your mouth until you know what the shot is."
Juan - not necessarily. Is that why teachers do it? Come on.
It's funny how you draw anger out of what I said. There you go assuming again. Oh that's right - I'm online. I could also assume that your solution to a problem is medicating it.
Michael - Very Good. You get an A. I was really looking for something in the past 100 years - but my fault for not being specific. And your right, not going to a made up war doesn't count as an actual war. It's not Flint, Lady Jay and Snake Eyes fighting Cobra. It's real Americans fighting real Iraqis. If you think it's a made-up war perhaps you should follow Juan's suggestion.
Oh I almost forgot, you're post didn't come across like someone genuinely interested in learning something new.
"Juan, please. Peace loving and apathetic are two different things. Of course you have no Marines. What has Canada ever fought for?"
It came across like someone trying to make a point.
Ray - You get an A+ but Peace Keeping missions don't count. And that Google stuff is very assuming - shame. And all that space you wasted. Your third paragraph loses me and is slightly incoherent. Please read my reply to Juan and then follow Juan's original suggestion.
(Wew - there are some pissed off people up in here.)
Also, Glengarry Geln Ross is awesome.
Now we're signing from the same page 8 ) Great movie 'eh?
"(Wew - there are some pissed off people up in here.)"
No. No ones pissed. Matt... this is what happens on threads... people take each other to task all the time. It's just the way it is ; )
The point is America is a leader. Canada a follower. And the followers always crticize the leader, and rightly so. But noone seems to take control of the helm. Maybe now that the smartest America has to offer is moving North - Canada will solve the world's troubles.
I don't know Matt. Canada lead it's way to a gold medal in figure skating in the last Winter Olympics. Oh, uh, I'm not helping am I?
Midgette,
when the war was is a moot point. secondly, i tried posting to say that there are Canadian Marines; you are terribly miseducated. thirdly, war is real you're right. you get a D. It's real people, killing real people. remind me why again? oh right FALSE PRETENSES ie wmd's, etc. some American's seem to believe that a war (bang bang) can defeat a concept (terrorism). you missed my point entirely.
for someone who appears to be in favour of the war, may I suggest that you join the marines. and when there's a bullet with your name on it, Bush and your misguided principals won't stand in the way.
get over yourself. you must be so proud that you need to use two hands to count the wars that America has been in recently. good job. now try counting the amount of people that have died as a result of those wars. you must be so proud.
No you are! They were good.
"America is a leader. Canada a follower."
I'm not gonna touch that one. Ain't worth it. Shut up Ray. Don't waste your time.
So Matt, seen any good movies lately? 8 )
Midgette,
exactly how do we follow the States? Healthcare, oh that's not it. Going off to war, wait didn't follow you there either. so it must be our politics, darn wrong again.
please be more specific.
You right Michael. I'm terribly uneducated, also due to the Bush administration. I got left behind. But if I was wrong on war being real, why did I get a D. Are you employed by the Bush administration? And I did. I got over myself. If I'm for the war, why do I have to join the Marines? If you're against it, does that mean you join the Iraqi rebellion?
Like Ray said this is what happens on threads. But you mistake my questions and posts for pride. I didn't miss your point, I just didn't like it. Sue me. Nothing I said was worth your last line.
Aaagh F' it.
The history of Canadian peacekeeping
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/cdnmilitary/peacekeeping.html
We're leaders in peace keeping Matt. And a couple of other things too, like igloo building, rabbit hunting, wood choppin' beer drinkin', back bacon eatin', fishin', bingo playin', snow shoe racin', lobster wrestlin', moose fightin', touque wearin' and last but not least... we say 'eh more than any english speaking country. We're leaders too Matt. Honest and for true. Search Google. You'd be surprised,if not a little more educated .
Matt,
what point of mine didn't you like? That Canada has in fact been in a war? Sorry to refute you. Lots of things you said warranted my post. For example "Don't worry Juan, when someone has a bullet with your name on it, we'll make sure the Marine isn't standing in your way."
You hide behind comments like "you mistake my questions for pride" "you assume" etc. to get away with being such a pompous prick. I joined this thread because you asked what Canada has ever done. To me this did not seem like a genuine question, but rather an arrogant assumption.
Really? Moose fighting? Moose to Moose or Canadian to Moose?
Obviously Canadian vs Moose.
Moose to moose would be just plain ridiculous.
American to moose. We advertise it in all our pubs. "Wrestle a moose and get a free beer" Locals never play, they know better. Makes for good fun at happy hour.
I'll Google that. Maybe I'll find a picture of me.
C'mon, Yake. you're ignoring the cardinal rule of posting by getting pissed.
Now - I was wrong. I was only stirring the pot and it moved in the wrong direction.
"now try counting the amount of people that have died as a result of those wars. you must be so proud."
Wrong direction.
However, Juan's statements initially seemed a little juvenile.
i.e."That's because in Canada, we don't recruit the unemployed and train them to kill other people." and this nugget "But the thing is, if you (Marines who don't agree with Genius George's moves) can't stand the heat, get out." Hence my first post. Every consequent post rollercoastered into some serious ass kicking.
"Every consequent post rollercoastered into some serious ass kicking.'
Excellent segue to the final piece.
Drill Sargent : You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
Marines, All : And me. And me too. And me.
Drill Sargent : Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
Can we all be friends again 8 )
Canada is a great country. War does not define a country, I don't understand how it could.
Mr. Yake,
Entirely correct. I have no idea why the U.S. thinks it can fight wars against concepts. Wait, yes I do, we're currently led by a fucking moron — sorry that it's come to using vulgarities as adjectives.
Matt,
Think about your analogies before you type them. If you're for the war you fight in the war. If you're against the war you are against the war! Being for the war or against the war has nothing to do with which side you're on. If you were for the U.S. in the war you might fight with the U.S. and if you're against the U.S. in the war you might fight for Iraq. Nota Bene: just because you're against something doesn't always mean you fight it either.
There's just one more tiny thing. Juan, though part of his point, was not the person who said the line about Canadians not recruiting unemployed people and training them to kill others. That was said by Juan's friend, and it was a pretty witty remark — and it's relatively true.
Greg,
Man I didn't even realize that this was part of Pulp Fiction, and I love that movie. I guess I better get this watch outta my ass and start paying attention!
Oh, I forgot to mention that we're also in another war vs. concept. Since the 80s or so we've had a "War on Drugs." I'm sure everyone around my age remembers all those stupid classes in school that they had. What good has come of the War on Drugs? Hell, the War on Terrorism is even more far-fetched. It's stupid, it's reckless, and if anything it'll only spark more terrorism!
I agree whole heartedly Joe, the war on drugs is what ultimitely led me to my current fixation with the good herb. Iraq is a bigger hotbed for terrorist activity than it ever was before. Afghanistan is producing record amounts of Opium since the so-called democracy installation... great work once again USA.
> Juan - not necessarily. Is that why teachers do it? Come on.
Oh, so you're a teacher? And I suppose you're trying to educate us all on the one right way to live.
"Peace Keeping missions don't count."
Oh, I see. Only acts of aggression count.
Matt, I stick by what I said, the war on terrorism IS a war against a concept. You are trying to fight against an enemy that is not easily identifiable, and that exists everywhere.
And Dubya is a moron. I never realised that this topic was being disputed. You see, he believes that he is capable of eradicating terrorism; through divine intervention no less. He is on a dangerous crusade. Democracy in the middle east would probably be a good thing. But who are we to force it upon them. I love my country, I love the USA but I do not feel like it is up to every other DIFFERENT country to be like us if they do not want to be. Moreover, it is not our job to force them to be like us. If the east invaded the west to make us like them, what would you do? Simplistic I know, but a relevant juxtiposition none-the-less.
Ok guys it's time to go tickle fight somewhere else, but I will have the last word — sometimes it's good to be the owner.
Canada is one of our strongest allies, without them our economy and lifestyle would take a big hit. In these times with our dollar plunging, military stretched thin and costs rising it's not a good idea to try and pick a fight with our friends and neighbors. Once you go down that road, it never ends, and before you know it we're sending nukes into Oregon. It's easy to find what we disagree about, it's a better strategy to focus on those things we agree on and build from there.
It's also important to recognize that the United States is not perfect. We screw things up just as much as other countries with expection to France, they are in a league of their own. A lot of people say the United States is the benchmark for how humans should live on Earth, not sure I agree with that but I've yet to leave the continent so I don't know first hand. Until then I'm going to assume that not everyone is drinking our Kool Aid and not everyone wants to be a franchise of the USA.