I would kill for a great game of Return to Castle Wolfenstein right now.

But I can't. I shouldn't because I'm trying to quit those behaviors. The ones that prevent me from being in the next "30 Most Powerful People at 30" issue of TIME magazine.

Heck, I would rather try to quit a heroin addiction. You know; the kind with the struggling marriage, screaming children, and double wide. All waiting for me when I get out in twenty-one days. The kind most common in Arkansas.

I've prepared, turned the office into more of a study/manroom, complete with an Årstid table lamp and sheepskin rug tucked underneath the lounge chair. Perfect for reading. Perfect for non-gaming.

My left brain is going over moves that would take the head off a first-person shooter opponent. Meanwhile the right brain induces heavy amounts of guilt over the fact that I have yet to finish one of the forty-two books purchased in the last eight months.

The Moleskine (Van Gough used Moleskines) lays on the desk asking me if I will ever finish the notes for the "next big thing". Then it laughed.

The room is spinning. It's raining pink elephants, all the addiction clichés are unfolding around me at the same time.

And on top of it all, my wife is trying out all the ring tones on her new Nokia.

Every one of them.