Pinocchio.


What is the one thing either of the presidential candidates could say tonight that would win you over?

Personally I'd register Republican and slap an Enron/Halliburton '04 sticker on my butt if Bush promises to pull our troops out of Iraq and launch a full scale invasion of France — right after he fires that United Nations sanction-loving-freak Colin Powell.

41 Responses to “Pinocchio.”
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
Gadgit — 11:06 on 10.08.04#
 

AMEN!

I'm a Marine from Camp Pendleton and I completely agree with you.

Richard — 11:31 on 10.08.04#
 

Sorry but I'm lost here. Are you serious? What am I missing here?

Rudeboy — 12:11 on 10.08.04#
 

I think this says it pretty well.

Justin — 12:27 on 10.08.04#
 

Isn't like 90% of what politicans promise to do while on the campaign trail a lie? Personally, I wouldn't trust any "vote for me and I'll do this..." mumbo jumbo no matter what it was.

Don't know about France and UN being bad, I'm going to take that as a joke for now. You've got that Andy Kauffman sense of humor where your audience is half laughing but half scared. I'm on the half scared side, but I'm still watching.

Beerzie Yoink — 01:11 on 10.08.04#
 

Drinks for all my friends!

Ryan Irelan — 01:16 on 10.08.04#
 

Hey look! It's Rudeboy!

nick findley — 01:51 on 10.08.04#
 

That reminds me... I saw a car the other day with bumper stickers for all the local Republican candidates, and then the Enron/Halliburton sticker. I'm still wondering if they're the "Republicans Against Bush" type or if they're just extremely honest.

Scott — 01:52 on 10.08.04#
 

Actually, this and this says it pretty well.

Tom Dolan — 02:33 on 10.08.04#
 

Anyone who calls Little Green Nutjobs one of the "best minds on the www" has blown whatever credibility they might have had.

scott — 05:36 on 10.08.04#
 

if bush decided to invade france, i would probably vote for him, too. france needs to be our number one bitch. send them in to do our dirty work.

but yeah, bush won't do that, and bush is possibly the stupidest president that we've ever had the misfortune of voting for. i pray every night that bush doesn't win, and that kerry gets it. if bush happens to win, god help us and the rest of the world.

but that's just my opinion. i don't know if i've just angered the entire airbag community or whatnot, if yall are republicans or whatnot. interest groups sound off?

Rob — 06:53 on 10.08.04#
 

Richard, the post is called pinocchio. With this entry, Greg's nose is probably long enough to make him very popular with the local sororities.

Cameron — 07:27 on 10.08.04#
 

At this point in time, nothing can be said by either candidate to change my vote. My mind has been set from day 1. I'm a registered Republican and I'm quite proud of what Pres. Bush has done.

In my opinion, God help us if John Kerry wins.

Tom — 08:34 on 10.08.04#
 

Cam, just for sake of argument, don't you find it a bit problematic to say "my mind has been made up since day one"? While I think it's of course admirable to have conviction and be paying attention, shouldn't any thinking person be open to having their opinion changed? Isn't it healthier to say, "I'm really interested in a full airing of debate on both sides and I'll be paying attention to new perspectives and things I haven't thought of before?" I'd completely respect someone who says, "Well I've listened, but I haven't found any new arguments convincing," but isn't having your mind made up on day one the definition of close-mindedness?

lt — 04:01 on 10.09.04#
 

Bring on the fear factor and you have Bush reelected.

Greg — 07:17 on 10.09.04#
 

Exactly what does day one mean? Day one since Kerry accepted the DNC nomination or since that cold rainy January morning in 2000?

The reason your state is called a "swing" is because you're not supposed to have made your mind up yet on who to vote for. If you're not going to take advantage of that title please pass it along to California so the candidates will come kiss my butt and give me free balloons.

justin ward — 08:38 on 10.09.04#
 

mind made up since day one? that's scary to me.

proud of what's he done? that's also scary to me.

god help us if kerry wins. i agree.

i'm voting for the lesser of two evils my friend. the fate of the world depends on it (i really do actually believe that).

Tom Dolan — 09:01 on 10.09.04#
 

From casual observation, it seems to me that most (not all) Bush supporters, especially the 'day one' etched-in-stone ones, are of two varieties: either a) the 'rose-colored glasses' group—the it's not so bad, we'll get around to inspecting those containers eventually, what intelligence failures? nevermind Abu Graib, what deficit? folks, or the b) God help us, the sky is falling, the end time is near, we'll get hit again, war-is-peace paranoids who want the world to magically return to the fictionally simple era of Wally and the Beev. News flash: ain't gonna happen.

I think Bush actually did say one thing in debate last night that confirmed my vote won't be for him: His unwillingness to admit a single, personal error over the course of the 'thousands of decisions' he's made over the last four years. When asked this sharp question, he had a great moment to demonstrate the type of humanity and humility you'd expect to see from a inspirational leader, particularly one who cites Jesus Christ as his political mentor. Instead he launched into several minutes of speechifying on what he's got exactly right (while likely desperately thinking of something to say that answered the question), finally coming to the point that he's appointed some people he wishes he hadn't—meaning, his mistakes have only been trusting other people who have screwed up.

This single moment confirms the worst about this man's approach. He's unable to face facts that don't jibe with what he wants to hear, which motivates advisors to hide negative potentialities from him, which in turn means he's often provided with dumbed-down, one-sided assessments on what a situation might really be like, shaped to make the boss feel more happy with himself and the line of thinking he's already embraced. As evidenced by recent history, this can be a very bad thing, leading to grave mistakes, making America look like a dopey global bully, making the rest of the world (particularly those dicey parts like South Asia and the moderate Arab states) less likely to help us, and making America ultimately much less safe with far fewer options (outside of the Marines) to leverage our agenda and persuade others to share our goals.

Ryan Irelan — 12:10 on 10.09.04#
 

OK. I think Tom just summed it up nicely. This thread is over. ;-)

Dan — 12:52 on 10.09.04#
 

I am not a democrat or republican, not sure what I am. The only thing I am sure of is that after I watched Farhenit 9/11 I'd burn in hell before I voted for bush.

Say what you want about it being slanted towards the democrats or just a 2 hour flick of Bush battering. What you can't aruge is when Bush sat with those kids for 8 minutes after he already found out that we'd been attacked. I don't think you need to know more about him than that.

James — 12:56 on 10.09.04#
 

I just want to say that I think it's funny that some people think Greg wasn't being serious about invading France.

Greg — 01:21 on 10.09.04#
 

Yeah I'm tired of paying for French Fries.

Tom Dolan — 05:05 on 10.09.04#
 

Let's start with Canada—they're sorta French but a lot closer and there's fewer of 'em.

Sean Sperte — 07:30 on 10.09.04#
 

Unfortunately, we're comfortable again. We're back to work and back to life. We've returned to life before the 9/11 attacks, and have forgotten we're at war and shouldn't take any step, breath or day for granted.

I admit, I've forgotten -- even though I donned the "WE WILL NEVER FORGET" bumper sticker. Then I read the post that Scott linked to. And I remember again.

My vote wasn't changed after the second debate. I don't think Senator Kerry could have changed it. But I was distracted by what he said. I got distracted by drugs from Canada, Medicare, and the deficit. I started thinking about the economy and jobs.

But now I remember again. We are at war.

Greg — 07:39 on 10.09.04#
 

Well sure we're at 'war' but it's important to remember that our mission has been accomplished and all of the major conflict is over. So it's really not war anymore, more like a street fight between friends.

Sean Sperte — 09:29 on 10.09.04#
 

Sure, then it's a street fight. Regardless, life isn't "normal" in the U.S., and we can't vote in November under the impression that it is.

Maybe I'm just feeling the added pressure of this being the second presidentail election I've been able to vote in. I suppose I wasn't as aware of the national climate prior to turning voting age.

Tom Dolan — 10:20 on 10.09.04#
 

Sean, that post is flawed in so many ways it's really a shame if you're basing any opinion on it. Just to start, let's say we all agree we're "at war"—wouldn't it be a fine idea to figure out who we're at war with, and whether a 20th century notion like deterence even applies? Do you really believe that invading (a toothless and WMD-less) Iraq at the price of alienating allies, doing homeland security on the cheap, and pumping up anti-Americanism worldwide has really made us safer?

James — 03:46 on 10.10.04#
 

There is really no reason to invade Canada. What have the Canadians ever done to us? I don't think we should take war so lightly that we could invade a nice country like Canada. It's the French who need to be invaded.

Tom Dolan — 07:04 on 10.10.04#
 

James, you need to re-adjust your joke filter.

Tom Dolan — 08:03 on 10.10.04#
 

Today's Times outlines distinctions. Base your vote on which one sounds right to you. Frankly, I think any reasonable person could agree that there is merit to both arguments:

"The Bush doctrine, which holds that the war on terror, if not exactly a clash of civilizations, is nonetheless a struggle between those states that would promote terrorism and those that would exterminate it. Bush, like Kerry, accepts the premise that America is endangered mainly by a new kind of adversary that claims no state or political entity as its own. But he does not accept the idea that those adversaries can ultimately survive and operate independently of states; in fact, he asserts that terrorist groups are inevitably the subsidiaries of irresponsible regimes. 'We must be prepared to stop rogue states and their terrorist clients,'' the National Security Strategy said, in a typical passage, ''before they are able to threaten or use weapons of mass destruction against the United States and our allies and friends.'

By singling out three states in particular—Iraq, North Korea and Iran—as an 'axis of evil,' and by invading Iraq on the premise that it did (or at least might) sponsor terrorism, Bush cemented the idea that his war on terror is a war against those states that, in the president's words, are not with us but against us. Many of Bush's advisers spent their careers steeped in cold-war strategy, and their foreign policy is deeply rooted in the idea that states are the only consequential actors on the world stage, and that they can—and should—be forced to exercise control over the violent groups that take root within their borders.

Kerry's view, on the other hand, suggests that it is the very premise of civilized states, rather than any one ideology, that is under attack. And no one state, acting alone, can possibly have much impact on the threat, because terrorists will always be able to move around, shelter their money and connect in cyberspace; there are no capitals for a superpower like the United States to bomb, no ambassadors to recall, no economies to sanction. The U.S. military searches for bin Laden, the Russians hunt for the Chechen terrorist Shamil Basayev and the Israelis fire missiles at Hamas bomb makers; in Kerry's world, these disparate terrorist elements make up a loosely affiliated network of diabolical villains, more connected to one another by tactics and ideology than they are to any one state sponsor. The conflict, in Kerry's formulation, pits the forces of order versus the forces of chaos, and only a unified community of nations can ensure that order prevails.

One can infer from this that if Kerry were able to speak less guardedly, in a less treacherous atmosphere than a political campaign, he might say, as some of his advisers do, that we are not in an actual war on terror. Wars are fought between states or between factions vying for control of a state; Al Qaeda and its many offspring are neither. If Kerry's foreign-policy frame is correct, then law enforcement probably is the most important, though not the only, strategy you can employ against such forces, who need passports and bank accounts and weapons in order to survive and flourish. Such a theory suggests that, in our grief and fury, we have overrated the military threat posed by Al Qaeda, paradoxically elevating what was essentially a criminal enterprise, albeit a devastatingly sophisticated and global one, into the ideological successor to Hitler and Stalin -- and thus conferring on the jihadists a kind of stature that might actually work in their favor, enabling them to attract more donations and more recruits.

Joe Clay — 07:41 on 10.10.04#
 

I'm sorry, after watching this debate I no longer (this was the first of their debates that I have seen) am afraid of how Kerry will run this country. I no longer think that I'm voting for the lesser of two evils.

Let me begin my argument by explaining that I am along the lines of an anarcho-communist or libertarian. However — and before you disregard everything I say — in reality I am strictly non-partisan. I tend to favor legislation on both sides of the political center.

First things first, I believe that Bush was completely outsmarted by Kerry. I don't see how anyone could be behind him after seeing the candidates debate. He made up phrases such as 'green shaded eyes' — I believe he meant 'rose colored glasses' — which didn't make sense in any way it could be taken. Now, I'm not against Bush purely because of his stupidity. He makes such claims as Kerry not voting on something or Kerry voting on something that he himself supports, as if somehow Kerry voting for it is bad and him agreeing on it is good. He says that Kerry votes on certain things which, on the surface, seem bad, however he fails to mention that often bills have subclauses that are attached to them that the people wish to pass, or that it would look bad to vote against.

Let's just say that Bush and his cronies wish to pass Patriot Act II. Not many people really favor it so they sugarcoat is by doing something like upping funds for the maintenance of orphanages, or offering tax cuts for retirement homes. These sorts of things are attached to bills all the time. It's almost like the Bible: you can use them to prove anything. If you vote against the bill in this scenario you're evil because you're taking money from orphans or the elderly. Vote for it and you're taking away your own rights — which is also ironic.

A vote for Bush is a vote to take away your rights. We're voting away our rights. How ironic can you be? Soon we'll be voting away our right to vote. Sound stupid? Think about it. How unlikely is it with the way things are going? You can't be living in America right now and think we're doing well.

I'm sorry — as I've said before I'm fairly intelligent — and I can't believe there is anyone who can't see through the lies of Bush. Body language makes up 90% of all communication (non-digital of course). Bush's body language is glaring. He's confident on the outside but his facial ticks and smile is always uneasy at the debate. He's so obviously pulling stuff out from everywhere that it's not even funny. He doesn't even directly answer questions. The only question I saw Kerry dodge was abortion. That question is far too loaded, yet he handled it very well. That was very intelligent to state that he can't let his own view get in the way of his judgment. Kerry's pose and comfort on camera shows that he actually believes in what he says. Bush paces around, normally a sign of confidence, which is most likely an attempt to defer the fear in his face.

In my view, he's completely blowing his campaign. What a waste of money. Who could possibly want to donate money to his campaign. I realize that some of you are staunch Republicans, but please understand that you don't have to vote for your party — that's the great thing about America: choice.

I don't care if this offended you because it shouldn't. If you think I'm completely incorrect, that's your view. All I ask is that, before you refute anything I've said, you come up with intelligent responses.

Oh, "Enron/Halliburton '04?" That's classic.

Sean Tevis — 09:32 on 10.10.04#
 

I used to think about that question early on. I live in South Florida and saw deeply reprehensible behavior by the Republican machine during the whole hanging chad and butterfly ballot period. If he had just apologized for his party and urged unity I could have gone on with a clean slate - instead I've always seen someone who won't hesitate to railroad any of the people he respresents if they don't agree with or understand him. It was clear to me that he doesn't need, want, or care about 49 percent of us. Kerry will be decent, but much, much better than Bush.

Greg — 12:05 on 10.11.04#
 

Yeah voting has pretty much become voting for the lesser of two evils. Then again, maybe it's always been that way.

James — 01:53 on 10.11.04#
 

Tom, I don't need to readjust my joke filter, we seriously need to invade France! In fact an all out preemptive nuclear attack is not out to the question.

Ben — 01:55 on 10.11.04#
 

As an observer from accross the Pond, I would hardly be suprised if Bush was re-elected. having looked at the system used to elect in the States*, along with the questions asked in the "Question Time" on Firday, I am scared shtless that you guys pick the leader of the free world.

Apologies to all the intelligent Americans, but you are the majority in our view.

* Missourians have 1.4 times the voting power of New Yorkers!?!?!

Tom Dolan — 06:17 on 10.11.04#
 

Okay James, I'll give you enough rope: Why do we need to 'seriously' invade France?

Dave Simon — 08:58 on 10.11.04#
 

Tom Dolan -

I'm not in "group a" or "group b" - I'm a supporter of the President because the business I work for and thousands (millions) of other small businesses benefitted from his tax cuts. And Kerry would increase small business taxes by at least 9%. That would cost one of my coworkers a job.

Dave Simon — 09:03 on 10.11.04#
 

And could someone please explain to me why Enron is a Bush issue?

Seriously, sure, he was buddies with Ken Lay. But so was Teresa Heinz.

Bush had nothing to do with the company. If anything, the house of cards that was Enron was set up during the Clinton administration.

And Halliburton? Um, can anyone name one other company in the world capable of rebuilding Iraq's oil pipelines and infrastructure? One that isn't French?

Tom Dolan — 09:12 on 10.11.04#
 

Dave, I own a small business, and the costs of doing business are affected by many things, so you're just drinking the Bush cool aid if you think that a Kerry administration equals a tax hike on small business. The costs of the incompetant management of a post-war Iraq and the looming, exponentially growing deficit are arguably much more impactful on the overall economy and whether you or your co-workers will have a job in the years ahead.

Cornelius — 01:25 on 10.11.04#
 

Dave. Who cares if the company named was French or Russian or Chinese? Please stick to worrying about if Freedom Ticklers is the next important sanction to pursue after Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

The rest of your pap about taxes and Enron/Halliburton, it sounds stale, like it's from an early-August set of GOP talking points. It's not like you want it explained to you, your mind is made up and so is mine. Bang on.

Brady J. Frey — 05:38 on 10.11.04#
 

Dave - And could someone please explain to me why Enron is a Bush issue? Seriously, sure, he was buddies with Ken Lay. But so was Teresa Heinz.
He actually flew in an Enron plain during his campaign, and was closely personal with both family members -- I have yet to hear a third party candidate or a Democratic candidate bear that same resemblence. Keep in mind your talking about one of the largest corruption scandal that cost the jobs of thousands of people -- not your one job you're worried about -- and specific energy regulations, and financial support for energy organizations led to the a decietful game of energy gambling that cost millions, if not billions, to consumers, including employees. Did you want me to go into further detail about this subject, it seems you have not been reading up on it?


Dave - Bush had nothing to do with the company. If anything, the house of cards that was Enron was set up during the Clinton administration.
Actually, like I said, Kenneth Lay was a close relation to the Bush family from early childhood; further investigations have proven close 'legal' help from Bush corporations, to Enron. This scandal had been in progress while Bush was campaiging, under the noses of the Democrats, but it's not Bush's problem, really, they donated the maximum amount a company can donate to his campaign only out of love. This right here shows your lack of knowledge -- watching fox doesn't make you experienced in these areas. Watching CNN, ABC, NBC, C-Span, and Fox doesn't either.

Dave - And Halliburton? Um, can anyone name one other company in the world capable of rebuilding Iraq's oil pipelines and infrastructure? One that isn't French?
http://www.bechtel.com/default_services.htm
Is a well financed and perfectly capable organization, read through their services. Both companies volleyed for bids in the rebuilding of Iraq -- though recently, an executive quit her job, and came forwarding exposing favortism practices in the bids. Betchel is by no means a saint either, but it again shows your lack of knowledge. So you know, I voted Libertarian last election, and I'm throwing my vote Democrat this year, because I DO pay attention

Js — 03:47 on 10.19.04#
 

I'd rather invade the right wing religious infrastructure than France.

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