Right now I just want to rip my head open and squeeze my brain until it stops pounding. The eyes are burning too, in the back.
Under order of my physician I'm no longer allowed to ingest the "chemical poison" (her words, not mine) commonly known as caffeine.
About an hour ago my world started crashing all around. I can now see the Matrix, dogs and cats are speaking to me in loud human voices, the sky is green — sometimes purple and Canada just announced they found a mad cow.
What a rotten day.
This all started on Saturday morning when I felt my heart do a few jig against my rib cage. It happens from time to time but for some reason I thought this irregular heartbeat was signaling the big checkout. Things calmed down until yesterday morning when it happened again, so I immediately headed for the doctor, making sure not to speed or pull an illegal u-turn.
Upon an examination that included being wired to several machines and printers, I was diagnosed as fine but needing to loose weight, eat more vegetables (expect white rice, corn, and potatoes), exercise, and, oh yeah, no more caffeine.
The doctor actually had the nerve to suggest drinking herbal tea as a great alternative.
Herbal tea? I had to pinch myself to make sure I hadn't died and landed in the sixth level of hell.
Man does it suck to get old.
This morning I thought maybe decaf would do the trick. Perhaps the taste of an iced latte would induce the placebo effect but alas tickling the senses is not enough.
Now I just want to world to sink into a dark room where I can get some peace and quiet and not be tempted to drive down to Starbucks for a quick fix.
Mad cow indeed.
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I feel your pain. Unfortunately, this is going to last a couple or three days because, as we all know, caffeine is addictive, and your headache is your body putting you on notice that withdrawal has begun.
Good luck! I've given up caffeine numerous times. Giving up smoking was easier, but once your headaches subside, I think you'll find you actually feel better, overall. Drink lots of water (flush out the system) and take a nap, if possible.
Well first, let me say I'm glad your (relatively) healthy. As I grow older it's a consistent surprise to find so many "young" people having heart attacks and worse. Young is a line is the sand that seems to be moving inland at a remarkably steady clip.
Ditch the crutch. You don't need caffeine any more than you need chocolate or beer. Oh wait, scratch that... I do need beer.
I guess we'll have cold refreshing water when we meet up at Starbucks? Take a leave of absence from work, have the wife apply for state disability, and check yourself into rehab. Oh yeah, use ear plugs to drown out the horrid sounds that air makes when it floats around the way it does.
So sorry for you Greg. You, more than anyone I've ever heard of, really seem to love coffee.
Why no more caffeine btw? What if you lose weight, get in great shape and eat lots of vegetables, can you then go back to drinking it?
Looks like I got out of that coffee I owe you.
Well, I'm tipping a beer in honor of you and hope you feel better, Greg.
Greg, I feel your pain. I quit caffeine cold turkey for the third and final time in the summer of 2001. I've lived the decaf life since.
My caffeine detox was so strong I almost called for an ambulance. Some people, like me, metabolize caffeine very poorly. I was sitting on a bench on Cincinnati's Fountain Square having heart palpitations so bad I was considering asking the nice policeman to call me an ambulance.
I made it through, and you will too. And then you'll sleep better, feel better, actually have more energy. The only downside is that it's hard to go to a restaurant and eat when all that's on the menu is Coke or Slice. I now drink water exclusively at a restaurant.
Keep at it, it only lasts about a week, I promise.
Dude, giving up heroin was harder than stopping coffee. I shook for ten days, vomited bile, and shat blood.
Just kidding. It's not that hard. (Not that I've tried.)
I just poured the three bottles of iced mochas I always keep for you in the Casita fridge........down the drain. It will now be filled with v-8, water, and natural juice. I guess you will be moving the clothes off the bowflex....huh?
Pouring good coffee products down the drain is a sure sign of the apocalypse.
The Bowflex has been long gone thanks to eBay but on Saturday I did dust off the Ballys Fitness card — 10 miles at 100 RPM the entire way.
Holy crap. I think I need a tequila expresso on the double. They'll pry my caffeine from my cold dead hands.
I'm having a glass of wine to salute your courage in the face of giving up something you really like. You'll be fine, and who knows? Maybe in time you can enjoy a good cup of Peet's coffee every day?
I would get a second opinion there, boy-o.
When I went cold turkey from caffeine a few years ago, what really kept me going was orange juice. I drank GOBS of the stuff and it seemed to help. Anytime you take away a habit, you need to replace it with something else or you'll increase the pain of quitting. Grab a potent natural multi-vitamin, too. that'll help. It only last a while, and once it's gone, you won't believe how much you don't need it.
Oh Caffeine, Caffeine- where for art thou caffeine? Deny thy French press and refuse thy tamp. Would an iced latte by any other name smell as sweet?
Not to get all “aerobic instructor-ed†out on you, but raising your heart rate should help the headache. Your metabolic rate is most likely having trouble adjusting to the lack of caffeine (which essentially effects the heart rate, which in turn IS the compass for metabolic speed). In other words- bring that heart rate above 115 for about 20 mins & you will work through the pain. If not, I am certain there is a methadone clinic in your area.
Stay strong, dear Greg…the cure is just “twelve steps†away.
Greg, now is the time to start drinking scotch.
What about all the recient research that shows that coffee drinking reduces your chances of altsheimer later on in like. Personally I don't drink and I don't smoke or eat meat but I would rather die than give up my coffee. I am from Seattle for Peets sake!
Sorry to hear Greg. I can relate. As a kid I had chronic migraines. Them's two words ya' don't want together. Chronic. Migraine. The best was when a Taco Bell commercial would commence. My race to the toilet would commence as well. Headaches are awful things.
Ban-cha is probably your best hope for a substitute. It's tea, but not herbal tea. It is roasted leaves from the bottom of the tea plant, and as such has a nice, thick, roasty flavor. Best with some kind of heavy natural sugar. It's very low in caffeine, which for all intents and purposes will probably be just as good as none.
I know the day is coming too. Actually, it is my last vice that I need to be rid of... what might work for you is if you start you car and put your lips on the tailpipe and inhale real deep until you feel relaxed.
Just a suggestion.
There's nothing like a stomach parasite to help detox! :)