This weekend I decided it was time to take control of my destiny.

Too long have I stood on the sidelines only to watch others ascend into power, fame, fortune, and glory.

As I surveyed my holdings and took inventory of things that matter in life, it became more and more apparent that it was simply time to make a change.

After thirty-two years (well more like twenty-eight) of curious wonder and stubborn indecision, I took a deep cleansing breathe, glanced towards my second in command decided there was no going back.

As they say, pain is not without gain, which became more evident during the transformation. I thought of all the times I could have done this previously and how it might have affected my life back then and where I might be today if I had steped up to the plate.

It's quite remarkable how much of your past can be relived in such a short time when you have little else to do but suffer short, yet blunt, moments of pain.

Then suddenly without ceremony, the shout of trumpets, or rays of Sunlight from heaven, it was over. The silence and anticipation was almost unbearable as I staggered, mummy like, to realize the results of my new found future.

There was a bit of traumatic shock invoked upon first reckoning but as the second ticked by, the realty of my irreversible course sunk in. All would be well in another minute. Even better in another hour. And tomorrow morning would bring roses.

Will my decision have made it worse? What will my family and friends say? Why do dogs hump peoples legs? Does it even matter?

For you, dear reader, I give you a comparison of what once was, and what is now and forever shall be.

I guess I won't be needing this anymore.