I don't have children yet but I do know a little about parenting. I've seen enough to know that kids grow very, very fast and before you know it, they're out the door.
Once a parent, the priority is the child, everything else takes a back seat especially when it has nothing to do with the well being of the child. All attention is now directed to make sure the kid is safe and has every opportunity available to them.
Successful parenting includes spending time with the kid(s). Taking them to baseball practice, going to school award ceremonies, and playing along with them at Disneyland. The time spent with the child helps to formulate who they are, generally helping the kid not develop bad habits or (later in life) knock over a 7-11 in order to pay for the drug habit.
Like all investments, the more time and attention to detail given to the child will result in a stronger offspring that will grow up to be a leader and an asset to the community.
On Monday I saw several fathers who were physically next to their children but mentally they may as well been in another state.
There is the father who brought his three children to breakfast with the Disney characters only to read through the Wall Street Journal while they hugged Minnie Mouse for the first time. No cameras, no attention. The parent obviously too bored with the surroundings, wanting nothing more than coffee, CNBC, and solitude.
While in the park (Disneyland), I observed another father pushing the stroller, surrounded by upright walking children. They gazed around in amazement and excitement while the dad shrugged them off so he could talk with the office on the tiny cell phone. An action I saw repeated five times by the same person throughout the day.
Success is defined in many ways and monetary gain is certainly one of them, but I know that when these gentlemen are older, they will go to cash out on their greatest investment of all, and they will receive very little in return, if at all.
Time lost, moments lost, memories never to be regained.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
you just identified the difference between a father, and a dad.
...Greg takes one spiritual step closer to parenthood. No doubt, Ed and Jane are anxiously waiting!...
This post is a perfect example of why I love reading your weblog. Quality over quantity. Yes.
A church leader once said *No other success can compensate for failure in the home*. Your observations are the perfect evidence of this.
Well spoken, sir. How very sad for these men that they are missing their children growing up, even while within arms reach of those very children. How very sad for these children that they do not receive the love and attention from their fathers that they need and deserve. I'm not the perfect father, but I love nothing more than interaction with my daughter. One day these men will wonder why their children don't come to see them, why they don't have time for them. And it'll never even register with them that it's due to their own influence. How truly sad.
Well observed! It's refreshing to hear someone who gets it (and isn't even a parent yet). My daughter is absolutely the number one thing in my life. No job can ever take priority over her needs or excitment. Bob makes a great point too. These poor fools have no idea what they are missing. Being a dad is the greatest opportunity anyone could hope for.
Very good point Greg. I agree with you. Working with kids everyday I know how important the father figure is to them. A mother is important, but there is something about the father figure that matters the most. I know that your kids will not be the ones knocking over the 7-11. They will be much, much smarter and know that it is a waste of time, and move to the bank next for there is more money there. Just kidding.
Wow Greg! Enlightenment finally achieved? When can I expect the announcements from you and Cec.?
Seriously, this is a brilliant post... you have captured the quintessential difference between a Father and Dad - as Griff stated earlier.
Any fool can make a baby - it takes a man to raise one!
Well put, Greg. Good comments from everyone. I'm glad you all realize the importance of parenting. Dad says 100% of the kids at the Youth Facility where he works come from homes where parents are otherwise occupied and don't have time for their children. There is no greater joy than having children and doing things with them - soccer games, riding bikes, t-ball, cutting wood, camping, concerts/plays (that includes you Mitch) at Sherrod, laughing so hard at something Brian said that we thought they would throw us out of McDonalds, etc. Memories are priceless!
I agree with the above comments. But I must add that my kids are the cutest and most fun. Check my website for the proof.
Another tangential thing I know myself to react upon is when mothers, or fathers, tell their children to not do this, and not do that.
And, instead of giving even a oversimplified reason they just tell the child that this is the rules, dictated by me, your parent.
Personally, when I have kids, there wont be any rules for them that does not have reasons.
James go troll somewhere else.
Hey We're waiting for this philosophy to come true. Grand-parenting is still in mode I think. We've adopted an old puppy. She can't answer the cell phone yet, but old dogs can learn new tricks.
Observations are good, I do that and more every day with kids with no home or parents. That's why they are in detention with a future of certain crime if someone doesn't rescue them from them selves. Anyone want to help start a transition home in AK for these kids? Im ready when ever you are. OM
Well put. That's why I shy away from heavy cell phone use, coffee addiction, and CNBC entirely. It's easy to be a father. To be called "Dad" is a whole other ball game.