If you must declare a fatwa so be it, just stop targeting humans and point your weapons of mass destruction towards these things:
- The Entitlement Generation
- Staying The Course
- All Country Music
- Florida Shoppers Who Can't Contain Their Holiday Horde Rage
- Alternative Names For A Type Of Blog, It's Still Just A Blog
- White Wine
- Blockbuster Video's Weak Struggle To Stay Alive
- Killer Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons
- Anyone Who Said The New Flash Plugin Would Run Faster On A Mac.
- Earthquakes — Sneaky Bastards
- The Millions Of Dollars Wasted On Special Elections
- The Need To Have Project Management Software In The First Place
- Inept Corporate Leaders Who Get Paid Millions While Laying Workers Off In The Thousands
- Celebrity News
- Walmart Shoppers Who Do Not Consider The Long Term Economic Impact Of Their Need For .99 Plastic Storage Containers
- Blizzard's Inability To Administrate A MMORPG Without Taking The Network Down Each Week
- Traffic School
- The Missing Seven Gigs Of Disk Space On The Xbox 360 Twenty Gigabyte Hard Drive
- Sweeps Week
- The Hypocrisy Found In Religious, Racial, and Political Leaders
- Free Shipping, Free Refills, Free Upgrades, Free Collectors Items — We End Up Paying For It Somewhere, Somehow
- Digg vs. Slashdot
- The Breakup Of The Police
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
Are these not humans? ;-)
If it wasn't for WoW's weekly maintenance, nobody would ever get any work done. :P
Hey wait, isn't Flash 8 faster on the Mac?
I declare fatwa on fatwa.
Hey wait, isn't Flash 8 faster on the Mac?
Not by a long shot. All my Macs, even the new dual G5, plays Flash like sludge compared to the old Dell that sits next to it.
Oh, I thought the line referred to Mac to Mac, which I have noticed a big speed in upgrading to Flash 8 not PC v. Mac.
Just another penalty for living in virus-free computing environment. :-)
I'm with you on the entitlement generation and alternative names for a type of blog.
But of course all of us believe in a fatwa as to to those godless killer Thankgiving baloons.
But we'll have to wait until the official report as to whether the street lights were turned the right way New York City in the corrective actions taken following the last attack a few Thanksgivings ago.
Hey, I'm a member(?) of the entitlement generation..
You asshats.
I'm entitled to more respect than this. :)
Now that Johnny Cash has passed, I might agree with you on the country music thing, but I hope you don't mean all country music from yester-year or those doing country music like Gillian Welch, David Rawlings and T Bone Burnett. If you mean anything played on CMT or on a country music radio station, then sign me up! It's just Adult Contemporary with a Southern accent (if they even keep that)
Oh yeah, Flash player on the Mac still sucks the bulbous ones.
WMV sucks on it too, but you'd expect that.
The Hypocrisy Found In Religious, Racial, and Political Leaders.
Amen to that. The seminary at which I'm a student dismissed two professors recently, and a third, retired one admitted to scandal earlier in his career.
I went to seminary expecting to find people that would be role-models, but am more disillusioned than when I started. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of great professors, but it doesn't seem like ordination holds any sort of weight anymore.
Agree with the Johnny Cash, no Cash no Country.
Taxi drivers in the third world.
I never thought of Johnny Cash as being country because he's too cool to be labeled country, hell he's too cool to be labeled at all.
Johnny Cash is just Johnny Cash.
Well, Cash was banned from the Opry, but then he got back in...
Greg, what's your stance on Western? Cuz I like both kinds of music, country and western.
Seriously though, I like country music. Charlie Parker was a big country music fan. Patsy Cline, Carter Family, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams and I enjoy many of the No Depression country artists too.
Fatwa on:
Cindy Sheehan
Cable Companies
That SOB who balked at paying me $600 for the item he won on Ebay...BASTARD.
People who say they don't like white wine are the same kind of people who say they like all kinds of music--except country. Oh, wait. Nevermind.
I would fight for my right to Riesling! Faith Hill better back me up on this one!
Adding to the list...
- Hummer owners
- Cat owners
- Pre-cooked shrinkwrapped bacon
- The obscene price of the new Xbox
- Union Advocates
- Men who go to baby showers
- "Administrative Fees" of any kind
- The religious wrong (I mean right) telling me how to live
- Any woman proud to be known as a "Princess"
- Reality TV
- Oprah
- Dr. Phil
and above all...
- Mail-In Rebates
Let's not forget:
Political correctness
Unopenable plastic packages
Hypocrisy
Stupidity
Politics
Long lines
and
"- Mail-In Rebates"
AMEN, brother.
Good list, 'cept for the missing 360 storage. I *think* I read somewhere (in the comments, specifically) that those gigs were reserved for saving games caching, and emulation software, or something like that. If that's the case it kind of makes sense.
I'd maybe aim those WMDs towards MS for thinking 20 GB was adequate in the first place.
" mail-in Rebates ' give me gas, terrible awe-inspiring gas that i let fly whenever a store rep says to be ' and with the mail-in rebate you only pay..." POOF, PUFF!! And then we all clear the store, me with a great deal of relief.
Union advocates? Like Blue vs. grey? Union vs. Confederate? You trying to start something? My yankee ass want to throw down!
Union forever!
Why doesnt the store just de-duct the rebate right there and then. Then they mail in the g*y a** slip.
Mail-in rebates are like spam. If people continue to buy shit because of mail-in rebates and don't send them in then companies will continue to use them. Like spam, it must work. It's just that the enlightened folks who have to bear the brunt of idiocy for our weaker countrymen who fall victim to stupid marketing schemes.
I remember one time I wrote on the chalkboard that our 5th grade teacher was a douchebag. The whole class got in trouble because the guilty party never came forward. In some ways, I have been paying that one off for years.
Cingular Wireless.
Golf, American Idol, or Cigar chat.
People who touch your computer screen.
People in your city who constantly tell you pizza/cheese/thai food/whatever is better where they come from.
Bush administration apologists.
Democrats advocating a Hillary Clinton presidency.
Ads on pube traps in urinals.
Lotus Notes.
Rinky-tinky, rootie-tootie, tinky-winky cell phone ringtones.
I remember one time I wrote on the chalkboard that our 5th grade teacher was a douchebag. The whole class got in trouble because the guilty party never came forward. In some ways, I have been paying that one off for years.
That was you?! Damn you Renaud, I stil have a emotional scar from that day.
I'm with the other Jared on the fatwa against Dr. Phil. I would also like to add:
- fad diets
- the stomach flu
- celebrity frangrances
- popped collars
- Mariah Carey
- Old Navy commercials
Sorry Greg. I am only in Step 8:
8. Make a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
I haven't got around to the next step which is tracking down all those poor kids like you I harmed.
- George Steinbrenner
- Jane Fonda
- all light beers except Sam Adams light
- any pro athlete making millions whining how they're unhappy
- men who wear socks with sandals
- people slowly walking down the sidewalk who make it impossible to get around them without going onto the street.
this is the short list.