Apparently the law enforcement of Newport Beach doesn't like it when you make a u-turn on the intersection of MacArthur and Bison. At least not when you do it while they're sitting at the intersection. With so many witnesses to the crime it's hard to just let it go.
I found this out the hard way, pulled over on the side of the road, just after the on-ramp for 73 north. It was 10:07 PM, just a little over an hour after I took possession of the vehicle used in the crime: a 2003 Volkswagen Passat GLS — Reflex Silver with the Monsoon stereo package.
It's here in the story that my wife, The Oracle of Good and Lawful, would like it recorded that she tried several times to point me towards the path of traffic purity. This came in the form of yelling repeatedly, "You can't make a u-turn here!" several times while taking jabs at my right arm.
Keep in mind, I haven't had a traffic ticket since 1988, when I was caught speeding 5 MPH over the posted limit. It was a slow night in a sleepy town that relied on sales tax and law enforcement for funding spiffy new projects like a welcoming sign that read: Palmer - The Best Kept Secret In Alaska - and home of Tommy Moe.
Moments before the fateful left turn I had scoped the intersection for potential risks. There was a cop already pulled over on the far right, looking to be half way through the ticket writing process. The on-ramp was only a hundred feet once I made the turn so I figured my odds of getting caught were somewhere between slim to impossible.
And so with the Banshee of Purity at my side I cranked the wheel hard left and made my way to the 73 making sure to conduct a new car high speed velocity test while driving down the banked curve.
I had managed to reach 80 MPH by the time the front tires grabbed onto the freeway, about the same time when the sparkly-twinkle lights filled my rear view mirror.
I don't think I've ever seen my wife smile so wide and for so long.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
That blows. But new car sounds awesome. Love the cobalt blue dash lights in those suckers. New cars are the bomb --- I have one as well after driving a 240Wagon for +11 years. At least you get your pain over with quickly, and now you'll drive safely and not kill yourself. Everything happens for a reason, no?
So, what's a ticket like that set you back, Greg? A friend of mine just got an $110 ticket for riding a bike the wrong way on a one-way street. A u-turn in a brand new shiny car's gotta be worth at least twice that, no?
My first ticket ever was for an illegal u-turn. I've never done another one since. Don't be sad, I hear traffic school is Newport Beach a wonderful experience.
If I choose to attend the wonderful traffic school (Doan's adjective, not mine) then it's $168. Otherwise it's $117 for Newport Beach and $300/yr. to the insurance company. I'm not a math whiz but it looks like enduring an entire Saturday of remedial driving discussions will save me some money.
My problem is that you can get kicked out of this 'school' for little things like falling asleep. In college I used to fall asleep in every class. After a semester of my head bobbing up and down like a chicken I decided not to fight the urge and just master the two minute power-nap. You should have seen it, I could make it look like I was reading intently or writing down every word the prof was saying.
I may have to resort to the Blacksheep Squadron trick of placing chewing tobacco in the corner of each eye.
I, for one, appreciate Greg's honesty in sharing this painful experience with us, purely for our own amusement. This selfless act should not go unacknowledged.
/me gives Greg a standing ovation
Good luck, Greg. May the gods of insomnia be with you throughout your tenure at WTS (wonderful traffic school). Be sure to show us all your diploma and your class ring upon graduation!
I agree with Res'- post that diploma when you are done- and not one of those freebies that you get offered in email either- real-McCoy only if you please!
best of luck-
frazer
p.s. did I mention that I aqua planed in the rain once while in a hurry- and then got pulled for speeding..."Go fourth-My thoughts are with you".
I agree with Res'- post that diploma when you are done- and not one of those freebies that you get offered in email either- real-McCoy only if you please!
best of luck-
frazer
p.s. did I mention that I aqua planed in the rain once while in a hurry- and then got pulled for speeding..."Go fourth-My thoughts are with you".