To the stupid, sometimes old, woman who keeps pulling out in front of me with your Saturn, Oldsmobile, Lincoln, BMW or Mercedes:
I travel fast. Not so fast to be considered a street racer but I definitely do not take it slow, except in School Zones, of course.
Your God given ability of depth perception should indicate to you that I am traveling faster than a boy pulling a wagon or the nice man who drives the Pleasant Hills Courtesy Van on shopping day.
Think Days of Thunder fast.
This is why you need to quit glancing around - as if you don't understand the mechanics of your iron-horse - and pull right out in front of me.
California law requires that you stop and look in both directions before you pull out and in front of traffic. This includes the European Racing Green Jetta that I drive.
I know you're not paying attention because I have seen you pull up to the road and without stopping simply make a right turn. The look on your face tells me that you're dreaming of a new sewing machine, cake reciepe, or David Hasselhof.
This is where, in our past encounters, I hit the horn, swerve hard, and motion to you with my hands and fingers. Between the car horn-Morse-Code and my excellent non-verbal communication - ala sign language - it should be clear to you by now that what you just did is not acceptable!
Knock if off.
Otherwise I will go down to the Ford dealer and trade my Jetta for an Excursion, the biggest, heaviest, and longest consumer vehicle available. Then I'll call Mr. T and have him convert my SUV into the ultimate ramming machine -- made of parts from Star Wars action figures, Bisquick Pancake Mix, a bed mattress, and compressed air tanks.
Then, dear madam, I'll have only one more thing to say to you: Don't mess with me lady, cause I'm gonna take you out sucka.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
Can you tell this to rednecks in trucks too?
Anita - absolutely! I assume we're talking about the beer-drinking, dixie flag on the hood, gun rack in the back window pickup driving rednecks.
As to the 'Nobody Special' who posted a comment earlier. Come back, own up to your own post and I'll respond.
Amen brother. Albeit, around here in Miami, it's the college girl on the cell phone who never looks. I share the same finger in response. It never seems to work though.
the most wonderful thing happened last week. suburban mom with the cell phone and two screaming kids did this to me and then i followed her to a mcdonalds, where she proceeded to park in a handicap space. fast forward to me inside having a mini-combo when cop pokes his head in the door. "white navigator? going once..." he said. i looked out to where suburban mom was playing with her kids in playland. "nope," i shook my head. it was ticketed and on the tow truck before she got out the door. no sprite had ever tasted so sweet.
This has always been a dream of mine.
To buy some big old beater, insure it to the hilt and simply take out anyone who didn't live up to my driving standards.
Of course this would require a clean lisence and good insurance (two things I've never been blessed with) to stay out of jail or avoid decades of expensive civil litigation. So instead, I'm training my children at an early age to muster copious amounts of road-rage at the slightest provocation. It's going quite well.
Al: George Carlin has a similar suggestion. His idea is to get a rental car, pay the deduction, and just ram everyone who gets in your way. Of course, who hasn't dreamed of rocket launchers on top of the car and laser-guided sights in the cockpit?
It's time for Road Warrior to become reality.
I have always dreamed of having a neon sign pop up out of the sunroof, with the expression "F**k You" Blinking them off the road!