Thanks to the House of Representatives, or as I like to call them House of Asshats, we now have a new name for French Fries. Yes, my elected leaders decided to take the day and get 'revenge' on the country of France by calling a fast food by a different name.
Super fantastic!
Hey Rep. Nay (Ohio) and Rep. Jones (North Carolina), thanks for wasting my tax money on such an obvious press ploy. And oh, by the way, once you're done acting twelve years old, would you mind taking a look at our economy, potential war with Iraq, and things like education, Social Security, and medical care for everyone?
Not wanting Congress to waste any more money or resources (who knows how many House aides it took to come up with the name 'Freedom Fries'), I have come up with further menu changes that should be made pronto.
French Bread
French Dressing
Swedish Meatballs
Canadian Bacon
German Apple Pankcake
Baked Alaska
Patriot Missile Manna
D-Day Dressing
G.W. Balls
NAFTA Pig Product
Operation Desert Shield
Baked ANWR
I know Alaska is part of the union but the Feds treat the state as if it was just another Puerto Rico. It's enough to make me want to fly to France and order a Royale with Cheese.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
I'm seriously starting to worry about your stability Greg. Why not return the Statue Of Liberty?
I would like to add a change to the following items:
Thanksgiving Turkey - Freedom Bird
Wild Turkey - Patriot Firewater
Turkish Rug - Liberty Carpet
My stability? I'm just trying to save my country some money, a task I always understood Congress was supposed to be doing all along.
All this "freedom fries" nonsense is the most ridiculous, idiotic bunch of crap our government has ever wasted time on. It scares me that this is what The House of Reps is thinking about. I imagine this:
Nay: "Hmmm. How can we really stick it to those frogs."
Jones: "I know, FREEDOM fries!"
Both (dancing around, probably sans-pants): "Nyah, nyah, freedom fries, ha ha that'll show you, Jaque."
Disgusting.
Parlez vouz Francais? = Parlez vous boom! boom! BOOM!?
Congress? Save money? No, Greg, you've got it backwards -- Congress only knows how to SPEND our money.
That's a Royale with cheese!
BTD nailed it - the government should mail us all certificates indicating which bomb had our Social Security savings number on it and how it was used. Kind of like a "Sponsor a child in Africa" or "Buy a Star" type deal.
Thats a really great idea! I wonder how much I would have to pay in taxes to sponsor the first MOAB dropped on Sadams head.
Just for the record, 'French' fries were invented in Belgium. These Congresspeople are as ignorant as they are stupid, which is impressive. Vote-whores. I hope their next election opponents raise their ridiculous time and money wasting escapades during their next campaigns: "Just for the record, I'd like to submit an approximate accounting of the $
I live in North Carolina, Walter Jones home state. Every few months we get to hear some nonsensical press release about some insane bill like this he is pushing for. The sad part is his district is as poor as anywhere this side of the Mississippi delta. If he actually did his job, he might bring some economic development to the area. Instead, he works as a lackey for tobacco, poultry, and pig processing interests. The only economic development he's brought is shit jobs gutting pigs or nerve spasm inducing jobs picking tobacco, tobacco being one of the most toxic plant crops, thanks to all the pesticides used on it because it isn't "for consumption." Oh yeah, and he supports the guest worker programs that amount to slave labor, because, you know what, no Americans want those jobs!
I'm a reporter with National Post, a Canadian daily newspaper. I came across your (excellent) site while researching a semi-tongue-in-cheek story on boycotts of Canadian goods. Your suggestion to rename Canadian bacon "NAFTA pig product" was hilarious. I'd like to mention it in my story, which will be published in our Saturday weekend feature section, Review.
I'd like to chat with you first.
If interested, please forward your telephone number and I'll call you up.
Thanks,
Brian