It's after midnight and eleven floors below and one block over some drinking establishment is hosting a competition to see who can butcher the music of White Stripes as loud as they possibly can. I have heard that Austin can get pretty loud but I never heard a thing last year. I was at the Radis-not a few blocks further from downtown, but these sounds coming from the street below can surely be heard across the river.
Knowing that enlisting the police wouldn't do much in the land of Garagabandia, I called the animal shelter to report that somewhere below me a satanic cult was sacrificing cats by the hundreds. I could hear vehicles being dispatched as I left them my full contact information, starting with first name, last name: Ryan Irelan.
It makes sense that this is how my day coming to a close.
Earlier, while catching up on some work at Starbucks, a guy next to me was carrying on a full conversation, with himself. Topics included: Running for President against George Washington, re-writing the Constitution, Salvation via Jesus, Salvation via George Washington, and hanging people. After thirty solid minutes of hosting his own talk show he went outside to continue the debate while smoking a cigarette. Then he started to moonwalk, and then again, and again.
Last week Howard Schultz wrote a memo to his top management about Starbucks' lackluster future. That second-to-last-word is my own and is used to refer to Schultz's reflection that a lot of what was special about Starbucks, when they only had one-thousand stores, somehow got lost when they got to thirteen-thousand stores. After this afternoon's coffee theatre I'd say nothing has been lost, it's only changed. Instead of Starbucks being the "third place" it's now become a drop off point for public transportation and field trips for the mentally unstable. Note to self: think before patronizing Starbucks locations right next to bus stops.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
But Austin has so many great local coffeeshops!
I nearly spewed Amp reading this. Sounds like one hell of a day.
The Starbucks guy sounds interesting. It would have been funny to get some video of 'im.
Sounds like just another day/night in Austin hey? ;)
I should have clarified.
George "Moonwalker" Washington is only performing his one man shows at the Starbucks on the corner of Bristol and MacArthur in the heart of Orange County.
This reminds me of a guy that roams downtown Portland. He's an older guy, but always dressed in a nice 30'/40's retro suit with long coat tails, and a Mickey Mouse ears hat on. He also carries a trumpet and occasionally plays it in between his sessions of always being chipper. Strange guy, but one time I saw him walking down Burnside as I headed towards some place unimportant late at night and he had his head hanging down along with his arms slacked and dangling low. Poor dude. Saddest thing I'd ever seen. Just thought you should know that a musical Mickey Mouse man with the blues is probably the most depressing thing to ever witness.
Note to Greg: Only trendsucking coffeenovices tolerate Starbucks. I realize it's Austin so the local coffeeshop knowledge may not be as great as it is in your hometown, but any amount of research is worth avoiding that place.
Badass vocabulary watch: penultimate.
A few Scenes in any Starbuck Store In any City;
( from years ago when i used to go on occasion )
Me: Good morning, I'll have an espresso please.
StarbuckBarista: Will that be a double?
Me: An espresso.
SB; Will that be for here or to go?
Me: An espresso please.
SB: ...stunned silence.
****
Me: Good morning, espresso please.
StarbuckBarista: certainly, that will be $2:50 please?
Me: ...for an espresso?
SB; ...yes ... a double expresso is $2:50?
Me: I just wanted an espresso.
SB: ... sorry I'll just charge you for a single and you can have the double.
Me: Thanks, but I just want an espresso.
SB: ...stunned silence.
****
Me: Good morning, espresso macchiato please.
StarbuckBarista: certainly, that will be $2:75 please?
Me: ...for an espresso with a dollop of foam?
SB; ...yes ... a caffe latte with espresso is 2:75?
Me: but I just want an espresso macchiato.
SB: ... oh ok, that will be $2:50
Me: for an espresso with a litle mark of milk?
SB: yes two shots of espresso coffee is,,,
Me: but i asked for an espresso machiato.
SB: ...stunned silence.
*****
This morning:
Me: hi Mike.
M; yo Vanni how goes it.
Me; super, Just bought the new Ry Cooder cd on iTunes last night. Nice sound...
Mike: here you go.
Me: thx. very creamy (slurp, slurp ... pay, change). See ya mike.
M: see ya....
****
Don't know, but "Moonwalker" sounds less crazy than my SB experiences... but then again it could just be me.
Mike, Greg is a Starbucks groupie, but I'm not sure if he'll cop to it in your presence.
That grumpy old codger attitude better lead to repeated rounds of Rusty Nails really damn soon, grampa.
Actually, you should know that Greg's really not so much the *$ fan, it's just what he settles for on the way to work when his wife doesn't have time to make him a proper coffee. That and the convenient wireless for working.
In addition, for those of you who may have missed it, I point to Greg's sarcasm about Starbucks' concern over losing their specialness. I recall a barista training session that I was a part of back in 1992 where I was told that *$ wanted to be the McDonald's of coffee. With that goal in mind, the loss of the "specialness" and development of shortcuts to a pseudo "handcrafted" coffee was inevitable.
Don't know, but "Moonwalker" sounds less crazy than my SB experiences... but then again it could just be me.
Vanni that's not crazy, that's poor coporate training.
Mike, Greg is a Starbucks groupie, but I'm not sure if he'll cop to it in your presence.
Yeah, nevermind the eighty-one posts where I mention or talk about Starbucks. I so have something to hide.
I didn't say you wouldn't, I said I wasn't *sure* you would, given the vehemence that the respected Mike D asserted that, only "trendsucking coffeenovices" even "tolerate" Starbucks. Having firsthand witnessed your iced latte addiction, I know you're far from a caffeine noob — I just thought I might hear a more spirited defense of the mermaid as your javajoint of choice.
Maybe coffee shops hire strange characters.
In Iqaluit there's a small white house that has been converted into a coffee shop called the Grind and Brew.
It was there I first met Polarman -- Iqaluit's self styled super hero, a guy who wears a black ski mask, black boots, black shorts and a black puffy vest over white long johns and a long sleeve white cotton shirt. I'm thinking his super power is cold resistence.
On bad days he weards a black overcoat and fedora and becomes his own arch nemisis Dr. Midnight.
He's delusional obviously, but harmless enough. Shows up at town meetings and pledges to do what he can to assisst with whatever the topic of the day is. The first time I met him he'd modified a batman action figure to look like him. He said he was selling them at a arts and crafts show. He was also writing a screenplay (in pencil in a school notebook) for the inevitable biopic.
To me the real coffee experience is about what's happening to warrant a coffee, the dinner before and now desert, grap a quick cup of that terrible stuff at the court house while I'm waiting for the judge to come back, the first kick of cafeine at a late breakfast after New Years. Chatting with Polarman.
I'm not sure Starbucks can bring the theatre back. In my town (no longer Iqaluit) it feels like Starbucks is selling you that third place inside your cup. For an extra 50 cents to a buck fifty you get a cup of coffee that's better or at least more exotic than what you get at Timmys. That'll be $5.50 and for the next 10-15 minutes you and you're coffee are making a six figure income, you drive an Audi and you have a house in one of the posh neighborhoods. Afterward you go back to the reality. Or perhaps if you are still at the Starbucks once you finish your coffee you can goback to the unreality of moonwalk man.
Only the Grind and Brew has Polarman though.
On the coffee preference front:
I don't know why, but to me the best coffee ever seems to come from those old percolator machines that make that noise that sounds like the Tardis on Doctor Who.
Tim Horotns has the McDonalds of Coffee title hands down in Canada. Oddly enough McDonalds recently was voted as having the best coffee by Consumers Report testers.
I'm liking Bridgehead lately after a long stintgoing to Second Cup more for the baked goods thant he coffee... coffee should never taste like soup.