The Christmas retail season officially opened on Veteran's Day here in Southern California. No matter how many candy cane street light decorations I see or different versions of 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas' I hear, it does not feel like Christmas. It certainly doesn't help when there are palm trees all over the place.
Please don't mistake my holiday blues for my inability to deal with the fact that I am no longer 6 and believe in the magic of Santa Claus. I successfully completed that 12 step program last month and the doctors assure me that I will be fine.
No, it doesn't feel like Christmas because there's no snow anywhere and it's 80 degrees outside. I'm seriously lost when it comes to seasons (there must be a medical term for this). The other day I told someone that Easter was fast approaching and they looked at me like I had lost my marbles.
Up north it's cold, it's dark, and there's snow on the ground. These are the conditions that trigger my subconscious in preparation for the greatest of all holidays. When I was younger, these conditions also included the arrival of the SEARS Wishbook filled with pages of the latest in Star Wars toys. The good stuff was in the back of the catalog, past all the clothes, tools, and Barbie Dolls.
These days the Wishbook has been replaced with Amazon Wishlists and email to santaclaus@northpole.com. So bland, so sterile — have you ever tried to draw a Christmas Tree with the Evergreen Green Crayon in an email? It doesn't work.
It's absurd that people who live in non-cold, non-snow environments even celebrate a holiday that is based above the Arctic Circle. Christmas requires snow, or at the very least, temperatures hovering around the freezing point (Hey SoCal Kids, that means 32 degrees Fahrenheit).
For myself and fellow Southern Californians, December 25th should simply be called Happy Fantastic Consumer Confidence Measurement Day. This new holiday would be more appropriate because it would not have any prerequisite weather conditions and nobody seems to even know what the real Spirit of Christmas is down here. Most people mistake it as an early sign of a bad drug habit or that you have to go to the bathroom really bad.
Despite the bitterness and resentment I may have towards the non-Christmas atmosphere just Ten Miles to Disneyland, I respectfully submit (by popular demand) the official Christmas (or Happy Fantastic Consumer Confidence Measurement Day) Wishlist filled with material goods that will represent just how much you love me.
Keep in mind that I have been very, very good this year.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
Absolutely! I was just making that comment to some friends here in Utah who hate the snow/winter/et all about how lucky they are. After 13 years of celebrating Christmas in the arid Arizona Winters, I'm thankful for the frostbite.
OK, everyone's heard this before, but here goes: in Chicago we have 2 seasons: winter and construction.
That's one of the maddening things about the lack of real seasons in CA: they can mess up roads 365 days a year!
Last Christmas day here in Brisbane (Australia) was over 110 degrees Fahrenheit.
People still sprayed "Santa Sno" on their windows and played "White Christmas".
Messes with your head a bit...
We're waiting for the snow to melt here in Ottawa, Canada. The news this past weekend included a warning to get the Christmas lights up Saturday because 6 inches were on the way. It hasn't stopped since. If you miss the snow, get a snow globe and give 'er a shake.
Warm regards from Canada!
Stuart
http://www.waldencabin.com
Haaaaaaaaaaachoooooooooooooo!
There's a cold for ya.
Guy from Miami here. Was just in Burdines Furniture department. More Christmas trees and decorations than you could throw a frisky elf at. Hate to say it, but that just makes it so much harder to get into the holiday spirit. Like forcing us to, or something. I'd rather think about eating turkey and stuffing first.
I'm from Ohio and I guess here we get all four of the seasons and then some. Like today, we are in between the snow and really cold rain faze so we get a whole lot of mush on the ground. I will say this though, I prefer California Winters to those here in Ohio. I could not have snow and be happy about. Less work for me to do (shoveling, scraping, defrosting, and de-icing) and I can get away with wearing shorts all year long (though sometimes I do here in the dead of winter).
On another note, I enjoyed your wishlist Greg. Some things I wouldn't mind having myself.... more on the toy end of things :)