I can't tell you how much it pisses me off that nuclear weapons are still a thorn in humanity's side. It's not that I believe we would all be wearing flowing white robes and holding hands if we didn't have nukes, but what the hell does it take to get rid of these things and the people who keep ordering them as if they were upsizing their extra value meal?
Look, if Singapore can enforce capital punishment on people who chew gum on a sidewalk then I think it might be possible to do something similar with nuclear weapons ownership. How many guys are going to build short rage nukes if they know it's going to lead to fifty lashings with a wet cane across their bare back? That goes for members of NATO as well as the Axis of Evil.
You think Mohammad Khatami gives a flying crap how many nuclear weapons we have? Hell no, because he knows we're not going use them any time soon. In fact It would take a modern day virgin-Mary-on-a-cheese-sandwich miracle for a permanent member of the Security Council to push the button — with the exception of the French who tend to go off without any warning or provocation, just ask Greenpeace.
What really gets the blood boiling is how badly our diplomacy with North Korea has failed in the last decade. In that time they have managed to do some DIY atomic action. It's really bad. I mean really, really bad that a complete nut job like Kim Jong Il has access to a book of matches, let alone the merciless and unharnessed power of the atom.
We chased Sadam into a dirt condo because some CIA agent's girlfriend, who's sister's best friend knows the girlfriend of a United pilot that flies to Nigeria every Monday and once saw an Arab guy at the airport talking to a black dude. And we took all that to mean Iraq had chemical weapons.
And now with our troops committed beyond what I've read to be safe operating limits in the Middle East, we aren't in a position to do anything about North Korea save for begging China to please get involved with their comrade's future. I'm sure the Bush administration is on it's knees, praying that Hu Jintao will push away from capitalism for a few minutes...be a good Communist parent and smack Lil' Kim upside the head.
I can't say that I would blame China for just sitting back and watch as their number one importer and foe struggles with the headaches that come with being into everybody else's business. We depend on each other so much now that our fates are nearly sealed.
Perhaps our only hope is to send stealth bombers over Pyongyang and drop an unholy amount of Baywatch DVDs, cell phones and bubble gum. Where diplomacy has failed, only David Hasselhoff can save us now.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
David Hasselhoff, you say? I got some David Hasselhoff for you.
Funny post. Can't wait for the comments... :)
It seems pretty simple to me. We are the human race. We kill each other. It's what we do, what we've always done. Nukes are a very effective tool for killing each other. And the U.S. has plenty of nukes. Why can't everybody else?
I highly recommend The Day After Trinity, a great documentary on this tragic subject and the moral issues that Oppenheimer struggled with regarding his most [in]famous invention. Not available at Netflix. :(
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony.
I'd like to buy the world a large store of weapons-grade Plutonium,
And turn my head while it builds implements of horrific atomic evisceration.
Golly, that's swell.
Well, it could be argued that the only reason the US has not tried to invade/liberate North Korea is that they have nuclear weapons and are crazy enough to use them, no?
Unlike what they claimed about Saddam, that is.
Forget North Korea Greg, it's Iran we need to worry about—or so all the chicken hawks say. I mean the more weapons NK has the more money we'll throw away on missile defense systems, that don't work, keeping the military contractors very happy.
Color me cynical today.
Despite the fact that we are the most powerful nation on earth (therefore everyone expects us to police the world, then bitches when we do) and the wealthiest nation on earth (therefore everyone expects us to pay the most to the Tsunami victims and bailout all the poor countries), I think now is a great time to expect the EU to step up and take this one on.
Yes, we do have a responsibility to use the power and wealth we have and the rest of the world doesn't. But that doesn't mean we must insert ourselves into the middle of everything. We can assert our voices and guide and direct; of other countries disagree with our way of doing things to save the planet, they can say so, but I really don't see any other country stepping up in any significant way.
We are just a bit extended militarily, and our foreign policy has already pissed off about 94% of the planet. We can advise, nudge, scream all we want, but the EU needs to take on a more active (and proactive) role in helping make this big blue ball we spin on a little better place to be.
missile defense system
I forgot about our Alaskan missle shield! Kalu, kala!
Forget what I said folks, we have nothing to worry about. All is well, go back to your soccer practice and watching American Idol everybody. False alarm.
Look, if Singapore can enforce capital punishment on people who chew gum on a sidewalk
Um, don't you mean corporal punishment?
1. China doesn't want US troops on it's border.
2. South Korea is no longer interested in reunification.
3. Even without nuclear weapons, North Korea's hardened artillery positions could level Seoul within 45 minutes of a US attack and cause an estimated eight million deaths.
4. North Korea is well contained.
5. The North Koreans understand MAD.
6. North Korea cannot feed itslef, and they can't eat nuclear weapons.
Logical solution: Have meaningless talks with them while they starve to death. They will come around or collapse from weakness. The only thing you have to look out for is weapons sales, and the Pacific nations already have a program in place to monitor North Korean shipments.
More pressing concern: Japan deciding to develop nuclear weapons in response as that will set off an arms race with China.
Hear, hear, Titus!
Forget North Korea, folks. Iran's where the action is (or will be). There, and maybe Syria.
The world's gone crazy, yes. But, let's make sure to blame it on ourselves. If we actually had a problem with this sort of thing we'd be in the streets instead of in our cubicles.
Democracy isn't free.
Well, if you'd ask my "well-informed" republican roomates, the US has been banishing nukes for the past twenty years, and we've cleared out all but very few now. Sadly, this is common view from the general public.
The problem is that North Korea doesn't win Elections, Iraq does. If foreign policy wasn't so goddamned wrapped up in what the general public thinks it knows, we might have a chance.
Until then, I silently build my bomb shelter because I know what's coming, and there's no need to fear the inevitable.
Nu-cula, the word's nu-cula!
"Loud Noises!" - Brick
@Greg: It's really bad. I mean really, really bad that a complete nut job like Kim Jong Il has access to a book of matches, let alone the merciless and unharnessed power of the atom.
Kim isn't the only nut job with access to that.
@Mark L: We can advise, nudge, scream all we want, but the EU needs to take on a more active (and proactive) role in helping make this big blue ball we spin on a little better place to be.
What's this -need- you speak of? Europe should try to be just as much of a bully as the US, just because?
Not that I'm a big fan of Kim (or Saddam, for that matter), but really -- these guys are made important, in part by the "advising" and nudging and screaming from Washington.
The best way to take out your opponent is to stop being his opponent. Without aim, a missile is just a big, explosive cigar that sits in a silo somewhere.
The math after the Iraq example is simple - if you have no WMD, the US will invade - if you get some WMD, the US will feign diplomacy (while the CIA funds some terrorists to stage a coup - who will later turn on the US when they realise they've been played).
It leaves NK, Iran, Syria etc... no choice - they gotta get the bomb.
I don't really know all that much about NK, but I think the prevailing attitude of commentors here that they know all about the real situation, from what the CIA is doing there to the oppinions of South Koreans and the Chinese is interesting. If only the world could be run by sensible people like those who comment here, instead of the bumbling idiots who are in charge now . . .
We owe pretty much this entire situation with North Korea to the absolute stupidity of President Bill "Slick Willy" Clinton and his bumbling Secretary of State Albright. Their "negotiations" with NK gave Kim everything he needed to develop a bomb. All Clinton asked for and got was a phony promise of no nuclear weapons development. Libs the world over declared it to be success while glossing over what a complete liar Kim is.
There is absolutely no way on this earth you can blame Bush for any shred of the NK problem. In fact, a lot of Bush's "problems" were inherited from Clinton. So, lay off our good President.
It's not too hard to figure out whats going on (a lot easier if you are outside the states) - the game plan was written by Bush 1, and theres a long way to go in the game yet.
I'm sure there is a Clinton legacy there (and a big Bush 1 legacy too) - but Bush 2 has upped the ante - contrary to his speeches, he's making the world a much more dangerous place by threatening (or invading) countries left right and centre.
I'm in agreeance that the real problem is with Iran. The current Iraqi elections are leaning towards a Shiai cleric that's in bed with Iran. He was exiled there under Saddam's rule for fear of his life. Iran is where most of the current terrorists causing the chaos in Iraq are coming from. Most of the arrests have been of Iranians and Syrians sneaking in to fight.
That is, the problem is with Iran if you're speaking geographically... if you want to be frank, it's with Islam.
Not Capital punishment (execution) for gium chewing -- the penalty for spitting gum on the floor in Sinagapore is Corporal Punishment (i.e., beating someone)
Remember the caning incident ?
The problem with North Korea is that there's nothing militarily we can do, and they know that. And that's not just because of Iraq. If we go anywhere near North Korea, they're crazy enough to start a nice little volley of conventional or nuclear weapons at Seoul, Tokyo, and maybe even Beijing. We're stuck not because we're stretched thin, but because they're crazy enough to do something. Look at the missile test in the mid-1990s that flew right over Japan.
From an op-ed piece originally printed in the LA Times:
"Even though North Korea would absolutely lose a war against the U.S.-South Korean Combined Forces Command in about two months of mid-to-high intensity combat, North Korean missiles could destroy Seoul and inflict severe damage on much of Japan in any given 2-3 day period. Pyongyang knows all of this and knows that Washington, Seoul, and Tokyo know it too."
Iran is less of a worry, unless Israel does something entertaining. Too much of the world depends on oil coming out of Iran. Iran see the US and Israel as a strategic threat to their sovreignty and assets, and on a certain level, I can understand that. We don't yell at ourselves for trying to defend ourselves, do we?
But with North Korea, you have a loony dictator leading a country with nothing to lose. Most of his people are starving. They have little in the way of natural resources. I almost think of them as the little kid who destroys things to get attention. And I think we all know how dangerous that can be. Kim Jong-Il just has bigger toys of destruction.
You know, you have an unhealthy amount of David Hasselhoffness in your posts.
I suggest talking to your psychiatrist.
Also, does your mom look like mister Hasselhoff? That would explain a lot.
Charles: The world's gone crazy, yes
That's pretty short-sighted of you. What, the world wasn't crazy in mid 1900's? or the beginning of that century? Or maybe there was no French Revolution, or Civil War, or Rome, or whatever? The world is the same violent place that it's always been, so don't look so bloody suprised.
The nukes on the other hand... damn, that shite is scary.
// hides under the desk
There's a great bit of dialog in the film The Barbarian Invasions, a smart bitter-sweet Canadian comedy-drama about a son and his dying father, where the father, a history professor says (not exact dialog):
"In the 20th Century we had the horrors of WWI, WWII, the Holocaust, Stalin and the Cultural Revolution in China, Vietnam and Pol Pot in Cambodia ..." and he goes on to add up the toll of people killed horribly in all these wars, and it's an impressive number, 50-60+ million perhaps (I don't recall exactly). But he then goes on to say something like, ".... Ah but the 14th century, the Conquistadors, the conquest of the new world, there was some killing. Perhaps 120 million killed and entire civilizations exterminated, all with cannon, sword, and spear. Not even counting the diseases that the Europeans brought with them. That was a century of impressive killing."
His point: mankind's ability and desire to kill each other is neither new or particularly on the upswing, despite our talent at making more and more effective weaponry. We're a flawed species, and it's not going to change any time soon. Call me insensitive or cynical, but I am a bit comforted by the macro view on such issues. Every generation tends to view their situation as an extreme, but it's rarely the case. I wish I could be more optomistic about our chances for development and evolution, but there's not much evidence to support such a hope.
That is, the problem is with Iran if you're speaking geographically... if you want to be frank, it's with Islam. - Kyle
Seriously? The problem is with Islam? Maybe I'm miss reading what you meant. Because if not, that is by far one of the most ignorant statements I have read in some time.
Oh... just checked your web site. It would seem you are about as ignorant as that statement. For three seconds, pretend there is someone else in the world beside you and the 8 people you know. While you think the problem is with Islam, there are just as many ignorant pricks in the Islamic faith that think the problem is with Christianity.
So, Kyle, is your solution as simple as killing all the followers of Islam? Then what? When all of Islam is wiped out, at what point do all the Anglicans have to get off the planet? How about the Jews? Perhaps Buddhists after all of them? Leaving a nicely riddled planet for the Catholics and a few tribes of natives that hid in the jungles of South America.
Islam is the media target right now, but don't let that blind you to the fact that followers of Islam, as a whole, are no different that any other religious group that requires a bit of practice in your faith.
Is Iran dangerous? Likely not unless someone invades them. Are there individual Iranians that believe the US is the great evil? Yup. Are there people in Iran that think America is alright? Yeah. I know a few of them. Flipping that point around, are there Americans that think the current government is pumping the hand cart to hell and needs to be removed? Sure. Tim McVie ring any bells? I can guarantee he didn't pull that off alone.
The world is full of insane people. 6.5 billion is bound to get you some lunatics and a good handful of people ready to follow those lunatics to the end of time. If the only solution left is to start wiping out all followers of a religion, then we are truly all well beyond saving at all.
lol. NKoreans are too worried about what they're going to eat, they could care less about getting involved in a war.
and Kim wouldn't want to give up his job as an uber-director to actually have to lead this war. at most, having the bomb is a bargaining chip, suddenly people are going "what are we gonna do about NK..maybe we'll give them food to shut them up" as opposed to "there's a north and south korea?? you mean kinda like north and south america right..."
besides, american's have conducted atleast twice as many nuclear tests as the rest of the world combined. i wouldn't worry about the 3foot asian pimp from NK. i'd be worried about the guy who says he's doing god's work...
besides, haven't you guys seen War Games...nobody can win, the computer said so itself
That is, the problem is with Iran if you're speaking geographically... if you want to be frank, it's with Islam.
I'm really hoping you just forgot to finish your complete thought here. Normally I'd just call you an asshat for saying something so stupid but I'm in a good mood so please come back and elaborate. If you can.
lol. North Koreans are too worried about what they're going to eat, they could care less about getting involved in a war.
From what I know about opressive dictatorships, the citizens normally have little choice in these matters. Perhaps hunger is a laughing matter in Canada, but I find everything about North Korea sad, including how people are at ease with what's going on in that country because it can be 'contained'.
@Max: The best way to take out your opponent is to stop being his opponent. Without aim, a missile is just a big, explosive cigar that sits in a silo somewhere.
The problem here being is that to stop being an opponent to those in the Middle East, you must become a muslim nation. That's the only way. Like it or not, Islam is not about peace and advocates, no not advocates, commands the destruction of those who are not islamic. We western infidels will always be the opponent, no matter how nice we may be.
ah... I think you might be talking about a reeeaaaallly small extremist sub-sect of islam (a bit like any number of nut-job extremist 'christian' cults out there) - otherwise we'd have been at war since day 1.
"The problem" is that there is not enough tolerance out there - 99.9% of any religion or population are not violent wackos, to generalise othewise proves the point.
HBO recently aired a movie called The Hamburg Cell that goes five years before 9/11 into the lives of Mohamed Atta and the other pilots and how Muslims dislike the West so much; I'm currently reading a book called Skeletons on the Zahara about an American merchant ship wrecking on the Saharan coast in 1813, and their confrontation with Arabs and Islam who hate the Christians with a vengeance.
Yes, it is incorrect to label all Muslims (Muhammad Ali is a peaceful Muslim) as extreme fundamentalists who want to destroy everything that is Western. However, in 1813 and you know looooong before that, this so-called small, and extreme sub-sect of Islam is fulfilling the perception that all Islam is the same. Probably because the media is 24/7, immediate, and focusing on all the insurgencies and radicals.
Cleay is right in that there is just no tolerance for others' beliefs, and yes, 1% of every religion's radicals somehow seems to get heard. Where are the other 99% of the other religions that decry the 1% giving their religion a bad name?
Greg, I was not laughing at North Koreans for not having food. Quite the contrary. My LOL was in response to all the doomsday sayers, who are convinced that the world will end tomorrow because of a nuclear war.
I was simply stating that any country that can hardly feed its people is ill-equipped to fight in an actual war (e.g. afghanistan, iraq, etc.) Yes, the fact that Kim has the bomb makes this slightly more serious, yet I still think that this is purely a bargaining chip. People are starting to take notice of NK, instead of just laughing at Kim's directing antics.
I do not believe that the policy should be containment. However, I think it's pretty funny that the world's largest nuclear superpower outright refuses to participate in talks with the NK's. Without the benefit of the bomb (and a mediocre peace keeping force) we Canadians actually tend NOT to be stubborn. We're kind of forced to find a peaceful way to do things (sad but true). Any president that has no qualms about INVADING another country, but is skiddish about trying to talk things through first, deserves to be strung up by his sack like the monkey that he is. His foreign policy is dictated by his religion and the weather. Four more years of this BS? You've got to be kidding me. How is it that a country that is otherwise oblivious to the rest of the world has the most say in who can do what...
And geez, the nerve of NK to be all like "ya we've got the bomb too"
Sounds like you guys are going to have to go ahead with that missile defence plan - who knows who'll get the bomb next.