After reading Cameron and Andy's predictions for the coming year I was not convinced that they were telling us everything, holding back and protecting us from some future horror. So I enlisted the aid of Taco Bell to help induce a nacho cheese hallucinogenic state where I was able to see into the future with eyes unclouded. Here is what I saw:
- Yahoo! will rebrand itself Yatwo! and rewrite the cowboy jingle
- Tom Cruise will continue to vandalize the psychology page on Wikipedia while creating an entirely non-useful blog on the use of sonograms in the home.
- Having written an app for everything already, Google will unveil an API to their cafeteria allowing bloggers to choose what employees will eat at lunchtime Lutefisk will go ranked number 1 for 47 weeks straight.
- Hivelogic will relaunch, again.
- Airbag will piss-off approximately 3% less people in 2006 than 2005 yet maintain an increase over a five year average.
- AOL will go to India and try to rediscover itself and find nothing.
- The colors #FH84JF, #QW9D9R, and #0P0VBN will not be used by anyone, anywhere on the web.
- Mr. Sun will undergo the plastic knife and become Ms. Moon. It's been a long time coming really.
- The seventh angel will pour out his bowl into the air, and out of the temple will come a loud voice from the throne, saying, "It is done!" Then there will come flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder and a severe earthquake.
- No boys, this year it's called "re-define". *wink*
- A design blogger will jump the gun and make 2007 predictions in October 2006. It always starts earlier than the year before.
- Chalupas, chalupas, chalupas.
- Airbag will use single word and descriptive titles at the same time, animals will probably be harmed during testing.
- Textism will update on February 2, 2006, not see it's shadow and usher in an early spring.
- Democratic political bloggers will form an underground cadre and wear matching blue berets. FOX News will mistake this as a French cultural invasion and declare "freedom fatwah".
- Someone will create a Web 2.0 interface for Usenet and try to make like they just invented sliced bread.
- 37 Signals, tired of the web, will convert into an adult easy listening station: 37.7 WSGL.
- Macromedia Fireworks will be killed by Adobe in the kitchen with the candlestick.
10 December 05