On the anniversary of the great American tax tradition I shall turn thirty-five, or what I like to think of as not quite half-life but getting there sooner than later. I'm counting on medical science to cure everything in another ten years so that as I grow older all I have to worry about is which dialect of Chinese I need to learn in order to shop for groceries, pay bills, and play World of Warcraft.
As I turn older I find myself pondering more, playing chess with life's problems instead of checkers. From what I've witnessed of growing old I'll continue to refine this "chess game" until I'm sixty when the game switches to bridge. This is followed by playing Parcheesi around seventy and then a graceful move to Chutes and Ladders sometime around eighty.
I come from a small farming town land-locked in South Central Alaska. A place where the gravitational pull of family, unintentional pregnancies (also family), fear, and complacency (a form of fear) have a firm grip on the population. It's hard to make it out and even harder to stay away — to make your home elsewhere. There is no secret sauce to what I have done with one exception, I never stop working on my confidence.
Don't wait for the perfect time to take the next step in life because it will never come. No amount of preparing, planning, saving, learning, building, or gathering can be done to counter all the contingencies of life. It's impossible. Sure it's important to try and do those things but don't wait for the planets to align themselves before you take that other job, move to another state, go to college, change professions, start a business, or marry the love of your life.
All that is really necessary to take the next step is to have confidence that you will be able to stand up to the problems that are sure to come and that you will find a way to fix them or path around them. In my experience building confidence takes patience, education (which is gained through patience), skill (acquired through education), knowledge (gained by the previous three) and intelligence (everything combined).
As for being cocky, well that just comes with a quick wit, old age, and a gorgeous blonde.
Join the fray by reading through and commenting at the end.
Greg,
How did you know that I was making many of these very changes in my life right now (moving to a new city, taking a new job, and going back to school)? That was a very eerie post...almost as if you had peeked into my life and felt inspired to give me a pep talk. Thanks, man. You are the best.
Rick
Greg, the fourth and fifth paragraphs of this post sound just like you were telling this straight to me. I am seriously considering copying that up, printing it, framing it, and put it somewhere I can get to see it every single day. I'm just a number of years younger than you, yet the "if only..." syndrome gets into me at times, and as they say, too much analysis creates, well, paralysis...
Hats off for telling it like it is. And happy birthday too.
Congratulations! I love your writing, and this is one of the best so far.
I've just passed the magic 35 - I always thought I'd be dead by this time - I've extended my perceived life by another 35 yr's now. This year I have started my own business (The bank account was opened yesterday). I get married on May 6th in Jamaica and to top it all off my missus is 9 weeks pregnant. Three things I never thought I'd do. When I was younger, and 35 seemed an age away, I seriously thought that it would be the end of my life... I guess I was right in a way, it was the end of an old life but also the start of a fantastic new one. Sod the 'if only' - as Nike says 'Just do it'.
I feel like I should be raising a glass! Cheers! Congrats!
Seriously though, awesome perspective on a life well-lived (so far). I just hope I never in times of restrospective have moments of regret - or worse be a person who doesn't even know they passed on something they should regret.
6 weeks ago today, I became a father and while it scares the shit out of me, everyday I overcome that fear, my confidence grows. I mean what is more important than making sure she is doing well? Things put into a perspective and priorities seem to be categorized much more securely.
I just drank a gorgeous, Belgian blonde over the weekend with a slice of lemon. Mmmm, blondes... It definitely made life easier and me a whole bunch cockier!
Happy Birthday, sir. Us March & April folk gotta stick together.
Now I miss Chutes and Ladders... what? Oh pipe down, it's always about you, you, you.
Happy Birthday, chum :D
Happy Birthday Greg! Only a year behind you.
As I turn older I find myself pondering more, playing chess with life's problems instead of checkers.
I love this phrase. I'm going to repeat it out loud all day until one of my co-workers punches me in the face.
Happy Birthday!
Ahhh... I remember the heady days of turning 35. It was about 50 weeks ago today. Congrats!
Ain't that the truth. But when does the game CLUE come in? I really love CLUE.
Greg, I turn 37 this month, just a few days after your birthday.
I came from a small town in Louisiana, where the primary claim to fame is once being named "the poorest place in America", so I understand what you mean about fear, and the difficulty in getting out.
And I understand what you mean about cocky, since I too have a quick wit (arguably), old age and a beautiful blonde.
Great post. Made me feel a lot better about the upcoming birthday.
I just turned 36 a week ago. Wonder if we can get every year from 30-40 covered in these comments?
Greg, everyone knows that the old man game of choice is Mille Bournes. Old cats dig the touring games.
Sure it's important to try and do those things but don't wait for the planets to align themselves before you take that other job, move to another state, go to college, change professions, start a business, or marry the love of your life.
Great advice, but don't forget the biggest change of all -- starting a family.
Words to live by.
Well said and Happy birthday.
Cheers.
Nice post buddy. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, Greg! All is forgiven for your spoiler without spoiler alert on the previous West Wing post :^) -- I was busy putting the kidd0 to bed and had to record it for the next night.
I'm with Mr. Boland, it sounds like you're so well adjusted now, it's time for you to get on with the next mammoth adventure, raising a rugrat. Trust me, it's tons and tons of fun.
Hey Greg,
That same fear/complacency is pretty huge in the Midwest too (as it probably is everywhere). Picking up and moving to the mountains... in the desert... my friends and family were on the brink of having me put in an institution. You often find out after the fact how aligned the stars actually were, and you just didn't know it.
Happy birthday old man! In honor of the day on which your birthday lands, I've decided to spend my entire tax-return on your gift. I'm crossing my fingers that you like coffee filters.
(@ Neil - I'll be 34 in May!)
Great post Greg! What saddens me is how many people don't take risks in their life because they're afraid of the unknown or, like you said, feel they have to wait until everything is "perfect".
People are often shocked at some of the choices I've made in my life, writing me off as impulsive and irresponsible. But everytime I hear something like that I smile to myself and know I made the right choice.
I always thought this quote from Theodore Roosevelt summed things up well:
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."
Thanks Greg for one of the very best entries,
Happy Birthday.
I'm assuming that your birthday is on the 15th, but taxes aren't due till the 17th this year. Happy birthday anywhoo!
8 )
Happy birthday, mate! Personally I prefer to play Jenga with my life, for all the reasons you listed above.
Take risks. The nice thing is that if it all comes toppling down on you, it's not as hard as you think to build it back up again. We are such adaptable creatures it's uncanny, and we are wildly able to rise to any challenge that presents itself.
Happy Birthday!
As a long time reader, and huge risk taker, I have to definitely agree, no one should wait to do things. The sooner the better.
I am 30, and have moved to different states and cities about 9 times, started my own business and changed to about 32 different jobs, married with 4 kids and no, I am not mormon.
Point is, it will never feel like the right time, but everything always works out in the end.
I just turned 20 on the 3rd. Three years ago I wouldn't have really identified with this post but today I think it's the greatest use of internet space. It's cool to see someone say, straight up, something really simple but great about life. It feels a lot nicer knowing you embraced life one day rather than just let it float by, due to irrational fear of failure or laziness.
Great post Greg. Here's to you making it to Chutes and Ladders.
I'm sorry. I can't resist. Just came across this and it kinda made me think of this post. It has heart.
Wow! Who whuda thought the red-head boy from Alaska would grow into such a thoughtful man. Kudos your post lingers in my mind and leaves a great feeling. Happy Birthday
Great post. I've been instilled with some sorely needed inspiration. Thanks for the wise words and happy birthday.
Happy birthday Greg. Nice post.
And it doesn't hurt to have a word of support from a friend, relative or business associate when taking those next steps outside your comfort zone. Even though confidence grows with age, there's always that moment or two of angst when one tires.
Great post, and happy b-day.
Runs to the post office
Happy birthday, Greg! Sounds like we come from similar backgrounds (Friday Night Lights was written about my hometown) and are even close in age (my 35th's in May, you old fart), though at the moment I'm playing Crazy 8's with my life. After going from West Texas to San Francisco to Boston to Hartford, and changing career fields five times so far, I have to say I agree with you 100%. Well, except I picked out a gorgeous brunette. Hope you had a good one today!
I'm not a risk taker at all, but I turn 30 next month and had a great oppurtunity land in my lap. It's just a 3 month contract spot, but I figured why not go for it, and I love it. Will things work out? Hopefully. If not, at least when i'm playing Chutes and Ladders I can look back and say that I at least tried.
Happy birthday, Greg. Congratulations on making it this far intact.
Happy Birthday, Greg. I'm a couple months from turning 30 and am a little weird about it (not scared or concerned, but weird because I don't feel anywhere close to 30). You've got some nice advice here...thanks. :)
I can totally relate to this post. It's been difficult being away from Palmer and the family. I like what you have to say about taking chances in life and not waiting for things to be perfect, good stuff.
Happy birthday Master G.
~trb
Just gotta add, sometimes the chance you must take is staying put!
Beautifully phrased, my friend. Amidst all the games of life, don't drop the pen; your writer's voice is strong and pregnant with wisdom.
Sorry for being late to the party. I hope you had a great birthday. Best wishes for another 35+...
Parchisi at 70? Chutes and Ladders at 80? That's pretty low expectations. My chess coach, who at 78, is ranked master would be amused.
I humbly suggest, with the advantage of hindsight, that you might consider different role models. For the involved, life can get richer with age.
To use a different metaphor, like a river nearing its mouth, water runs slower but much deeper than it does near its source.
Well said!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday. As someone who recently celebrated his 18th anniversary of his 35th birthday, I can say with some authority that each one has its merits and demerits. Enjoy every one.
P.S. I loved the Illustrator article. As I tell everyone who asks why I use it, I reply, "It has a long learning curve, but nothing else looks as good for many graphics."
Well put, Greg :) Belated Happy Birthday!
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so true. you are a tour de force, Greg. Both you & the gorgeous blonde are....and you guys have made it happen through the chances you have taken & the risks you have welcomed (that & your dashing good looks and charming personality).